Happy Dance!
I have been working on the first draft of this novel for a year and I am finally done the first draft. Whooo--hooo!
Okay so I know I have about 3 more drafts to do before it's printable so here's hoping the next few months are not as difficult to get through.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday Morning Blogging Blues
I did an interview last week with a new Canadian author, on my book blog. The author invited me to a semi-private fan group on Goodreads. A place to ask her questions we did not get to ask in the interviews. So far there is myself and one other blogger from the blog tour and the author.
So right now, it's quiet and nice and I get to pick apart her brain to find out what I have done wrong with my own novel.
My buddy Mel thinks I should not be trying to get my blog partner from the wrestling blog to do anything. Mel believes I should just let the Blog Partner fade into the night, as the Blog Partner has not contributed to the amount of posts agreed on few months back. I think Mel is right. It's looking more and more like Blog Partner is loosing interest. Fine Blog Partner's posts when they have done anything in the last few weeks have sucked. Yes. I said it. BP's posts suck most of the time. There are no guts in the mix, BP is catering to what they think people want. What I have learned about blogging is you do what you do for you and if people find it cool, great, if not, oh well.
The wrestling blog got a few comments this past week, readers looking for the posts BP was suppose to have done. BP has not done them or replied to the comments.
Alright going to find some eggs.
So right now, it's quiet and nice and I get to pick apart her brain to find out what I have done wrong with my own novel.
My buddy Mel thinks I should not be trying to get my blog partner from the wrestling blog to do anything. Mel believes I should just let the Blog Partner fade into the night, as the Blog Partner has not contributed to the amount of posts agreed on few months back. I think Mel is right. It's looking more and more like Blog Partner is loosing interest. Fine Blog Partner's posts when they have done anything in the last few weeks have sucked. Yes. I said it. BP's posts suck most of the time. There are no guts in the mix, BP is catering to what they think people want. What I have learned about blogging is you do what you do for you and if people find it cool, great, if not, oh well.
The wrestling blog got a few comments this past week, readers looking for the posts BP was suppose to have done. BP has not done them or replied to the comments.
Alright going to find some eggs.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
I was told Caleb didn't blog
Darius only shrugged when I asked him if Caleb was a blogger. Same thing from Joshua. SDG said she didn't see him being a blogger that it just wasn't his style. But her husband said that he had to at lest have a twitter.
I can't get a straight answer. And I just do not have the guts to ask him, and my big rule is never google people.
Googling people leads to disappointment. You find out about their love lives that way and it is never good. Not for me anyway. I would never want to know that someone I was digging on was married or gay by finding it out through a wiki or website. Just can't deal with the disappointment.
But if a guy is a computer tech, wouldn't he be a blogger? Or as SDG's husband said at lest a twitter-er?
Both Darius and Joshua have tried blogging. Neither stuck with it past a month. A lot of men just don't do the blogging.
Speaking of men. I have 5 little black dresses that I bought when I was still with Deacon. Never had a chance to ever wear any of them. Was hoping to get to the university art show this year. Normally it's held in the spring but for whatever reason it's being held in the winter. So I doubt highly I will get to it.
Would be nice to have someone to spend Valentine's Day with this year.
I can't get a straight answer. And I just do not have the guts to ask him, and my big rule is never google people.
Googling people leads to disappointment. You find out about their love lives that way and it is never good. Not for me anyway. I would never want to know that someone I was digging on was married or gay by finding it out through a wiki or website. Just can't deal with the disappointment.
But if a guy is a computer tech, wouldn't he be a blogger? Or as SDG's husband said at lest a twitter-er?
Both Darius and Joshua have tried blogging. Neither stuck with it past a month. A lot of men just don't do the blogging.
Speaking of men. I have 5 little black dresses that I bought when I was still with Deacon. Never had a chance to ever wear any of them. Was hoping to get to the university art show this year. Normally it's held in the spring but for whatever reason it's being held in the winter. So I doubt highly I will get to it.
Would be nice to have someone to spend Valentine's Day with this year.
The parking lot
Ever watched a great X-Division match when Chris Sabin is walking the top rope; his arms out at his sides sometime going in little circles?
Well, that is what I looked like last night at supper time getting out of the car. Uncle drove right up to my door, only had three feet to survive to get home safe. But still, I ended up nearly slipping.
I hate this.
I got asked by SDG 's husband why I don't just move to a warmer place like down in the US. I told him because the Canadian health care is the best. And the province of Ontario the best of the whole thing. Half the stuff gets paid for by the province. And with the disability I am on, I'm covered for dentist once a year and my meds.
Still, Uncle followed me around the grocery scolding me for having gone out without my cane.
Doctors said the cane was what caused my hip issues few years ago. Great, lovely. I had to use a cane for 10 years after my first round of ankle surgery.
Well, that is what I looked like last night at supper time getting out of the car. Uncle drove right up to my door, only had three feet to survive to get home safe. But still, I ended up nearly slipping.
I hate this.
I got asked by SDG 's husband why I don't just move to a warmer place like down in the US. I told him because the Canadian health care is the best. And the province of Ontario the best of the whole thing. Half the stuff gets paid for by the province. And with the disability I am on, I'm covered for dentist once a year and my meds.
Still, Uncle followed me around the grocery scolding me for having gone out without my cane.
Doctors said the cane was what caused my hip issues few years ago. Great, lovely. I had to use a cane for 10 years after my first round of ankle surgery.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Ramen Noodles by store
Photo by Me (copyright hcvp'2010)Safeway .49 cents per package
Metro are 4 for a dollar (.25 cents per package)
Zellers .33 cents per package
Walmart .35 cents per package
This is if you buy either the store brands or the Mr. Noodles brand.
To buy a box of 12 packages is roughly $4 at any store in Thunder Bay. Finding a box of 12 vegetable flavour or mushroom flavour is impossible. You are lucky to find four at a time of either.
Uncle came and took me to Metro for groceries so tonight for dinner pasta with mushroom soup sauce. (tastes better then it sounds)
Bills Bills Bills
I hate money.
Blogged about it on the main blog the other day. Why I hate it that is.
I got paid today cause it's the last banking day of the month and you know disability. Totally sucks.
So paid my bills online. Thought I was doing really good this time too, thought I was paid up totally on the cell phone and knowing I was still $80 short on the internet (two months behind) then cleaned my purse and found a missing bill.
I owe another $80 on the cell phone.
Hydro is paid.
Visa is paid.
Half the internet and half the phone.
That leaves me with less then a hundred for groceries for the month. Tampons cost money, toilet paper, shampoo, cost money.
I hate money. I have to down load my wrestling every week from iTunes Canada cause I don't have cable. My wrestling blog is my only real comfort. That costs money.
This is why I am living off of ramen noodles right now.
Blogged about it on the main blog the other day. Why I hate it that is.
I got paid today cause it's the last banking day of the month and you know disability. Totally sucks.
So paid my bills online. Thought I was doing really good this time too, thought I was paid up totally on the cell phone and knowing I was still $80 short on the internet (two months behind) then cleaned my purse and found a missing bill.
I owe another $80 on the cell phone.
Hydro is paid.
Visa is paid.
Half the internet and half the phone.
That leaves me with less then a hundred for groceries for the month. Tampons cost money, toilet paper, shampoo, cost money.
I hate money. I have to down load my wrestling every week from iTunes Canada cause I don't have cable. My wrestling blog is my only real comfort. That costs money.
This is why I am living off of ramen noodles right now.
Tea Buns
"How's the book?" Darius' asked. I heard a vacuum in the background his girlfriend must have been over.
"I'm stuck. Again." I answered in a huff. "But might have an editor. Mel's friend."
"Cool. I had four job interviews today. I find out tomorrow if I get the Future Shop one."
Then he had to go. Of course, Darius and I used to have hour long chats, now I'm lucky to hear from him once a week by text. Starting to hate my life.
The highlight of the day was finding I had enough butter in the fridge to make tea buns.
1/2 cup butter
2 cup flour
1 cup sugar
teaspoon salt
teaspoon baking powder
1 cup hot water
mix and bake at 370 for 15 minutes.
"I'm stuck. Again." I answered in a huff. "But might have an editor. Mel's friend."
"Cool. I had four job interviews today. I find out tomorrow if I get the Future Shop one."
Then he had to go. Of course, Darius and I used to have hour long chats, now I'm lucky to hear from him once a week by text. Starting to hate my life.
The highlight of the day was finding I had enough butter in the fridge to make tea buns.
1/2 cup butter
2 cup flour
1 cup sugar
teaspoon salt
teaspoon baking powder
1 cup hot water
mix and bake at 370 for 15 minutes.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Fans in France
"I'm suppose to tell you Caleb said hi." SDG said between what I think was clinched teeth. Her husband was in the background poking her in the arm. I could see him on the webcam as we chatted. I found out later that "hi" from Caleb was four days old.
I'm really starting to wonder what it is about SDG that she does not want me with Caleb.
"Joshua tells me that Mr. S. mentioned he'd be in France this week." I throw at her my eyes down in my coffee mug. I can almost hear SDG cringe at the mention of Joshua. She doesn't like him either for whatever reason. I think she thinks he's a bad influence on me. Joshua is harmless, and my cyber f**k buddy. I just like to rub it in every so often that he has worked with Mr. S.
I told her this because SDG checks the hits tracker on my blog I think as much as I do and this week I had close to 25 direct hits from France in a 4 day timeframe. We have a silent competition with our blogs to see who can get the most "stalkers" as she puts it. People who read your blog but never comment. I don't have a whole ton, but I have a few steady ones who seem to hit me more then once a week. Not bad considering.
SDG hates the fact Mr. S. is (we think - we being Me, Darius, the Goddess and Joshua) my biggest fan.
"Hey SDG, I gotta bail phone is ringing."
It ended up just being Blockbuster telling me I have an over due movie.
I'm really starting to wonder what it is about SDG that she does not want me with Caleb.
"Joshua tells me that Mr. S. mentioned he'd be in France this week." I throw at her my eyes down in my coffee mug. I can almost hear SDG cringe at the mention of Joshua. She doesn't like him either for whatever reason. I think she thinks he's a bad influence on me. Joshua is harmless, and my cyber f**k buddy. I just like to rub it in every so often that he has worked with Mr. S.
I told her this because SDG checks the hits tracker on my blog I think as much as I do and this week I had close to 25 direct hits from France in a 4 day timeframe. We have a silent competition with our blogs to see who can get the most "stalkers" as she puts it. People who read your blog but never comment. I don't have a whole ton, but I have a few steady ones who seem to hit me more then once a week. Not bad considering.
SDG hates the fact Mr. S. is (we think - we being Me, Darius, the Goddess and Joshua) my biggest fan.
"Hey SDG, I gotta bail phone is ringing."
It ended up just being Blockbuster telling me I have an over due movie.
Fame ... for a penny
I do the odd interview. I have interviewed a few musicians, one locally and one in Toronto, I have interviewed an indie wrestler, and I have interviewed an author. Yes a real life author.
I am feeling very smug and chipper today.
So today I am part of a book blog tour. I've done one before but it turned out terrible. Today, it's going fairly well.
Last fall I had answered an add in a book group I am part of for reviewers. I should have run when I spotted the cover for the book, but instead since I was already having a shitty day I did not listen to my gut. I signed up.
Within an hour I had an email from the the woman, and it ended up she was a local author. We met for coffee and she handed me her book, signed. Okay she seemed nice at that point and I thought maybe I was wrong earlier, but no. I went home and read the book. Let me rephrase that, I went home and suffered through the book. It was terrible. She kept saying how her book was so different then the rest out on the market and in the genre. It was a vampire book.
Now, I am known around town as the Crazy Vampire Lady and have actually had people say I am a walking Anne Rice novel. So for me to be reading this crap, that the Local Author had done, you know was painful. She had no business writing a vampire story. I handed in my questions for the interview two weeks before she was due on my blog. The night before I was still waiting. She wouldn't answer them and kept trying to get me to ask a different line of questions.
So I said fine then don't I still have the review to print. And I was honest about my feelings for the book, pointed out what I disliked and dug up more then Eight other vampire books/movies that had the same storyline as she had written. Needless to say, she was not happy with my work.
Less then a month later, my sister the Goddess who works for a major Canadian book store chain in town, was telling me how horrible this book was. They were suppose to be having Local Author do a reading, and Goddess's managers (there were two) had to read the book beforehand to "recommend" it to the customers in advance. The Two Managers never made it past page 12 it was so bad. My sister told me they were laughing at how bad the story was, the grammar wasn't the brightest either, but they agreed this woman should not have gone anywhere near the vampire genre. She had no business being a writer. "Total rip off of the Sookie Stackhouse Novels" the one manager said. (ironically so did one of my blog readers on the review I did)
Local Author admitted she got into the genre cause it was hot. She just wanted the money.
I am feeling very smug and chipper today.
So today I am part of a book blog tour. I've done one before but it turned out terrible. Today, it's going fairly well.
Last fall I had answered an add in a book group I am part of for reviewers. I should have run when I spotted the cover for the book, but instead since I was already having a shitty day I did not listen to my gut. I signed up.
Within an hour I had an email from the the woman, and it ended up she was a local author. We met for coffee and she handed me her book, signed. Okay she seemed nice at that point and I thought maybe I was wrong earlier, but no. I went home and read the book. Let me rephrase that, I went home and suffered through the book. It was terrible. She kept saying how her book was so different then the rest out on the market and in the genre. It was a vampire book.
Now, I am known around town as the Crazy Vampire Lady and have actually had people say I am a walking Anne Rice novel. So for me to be reading this crap, that the Local Author had done, you know was painful. She had no business writing a vampire story. I handed in my questions for the interview two weeks before she was due on my blog. The night before I was still waiting. She wouldn't answer them and kept trying to get me to ask a different line of questions.
So I said fine then don't I still have the review to print. And I was honest about my feelings for the book, pointed out what I disliked and dug up more then Eight other vampire books/movies that had the same storyline as she had written. Needless to say, she was not happy with my work.
Less then a month later, my sister the Goddess who works for a major Canadian book store chain in town, was telling me how horrible this book was. They were suppose to be having Local Author do a reading, and Goddess's managers (there were two) had to read the book beforehand to "recommend" it to the customers in advance. The Two Managers never made it past page 12 it was so bad. My sister told me they were laughing at how bad the story was, the grammar wasn't the brightest either, but they agreed this woman should not have gone anywhere near the vampire genre. She had no business being a writer. "Total rip off of the Sookie Stackhouse Novels" the one manager said. (ironically so did one of my blog readers on the review I did)
Local Author admitted she got into the genre cause it was hot. She just wanted the money.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Milk
I had to get my sister the Goddess and her boyfriend to pick up milk for me cause it is so icy out. I am stuck inside again.
I feel like a cripple today, back killing me, hips making odd crackling noises when I move.
Trying to watch the movie "Suburban Girl" but not keeping my attention.
Had a chat with my buddy Mel, which just ended up depressing me. He's a sweet guy, just really depressing. I didn't think I could meet anyone who has less of a social life then I do, but I have.
He's been crazy in love with this chick for a few years now, but he won't tell her. I keep telling him he needs to tell her, but he's scared to. Scared she will reject him and end their friendship.
That poor boy needs to get laid.
I feel like a cripple today, back killing me, hips making odd crackling noises when I move.
Trying to watch the movie "Suburban Girl" but not keeping my attention.
Had a chat with my buddy Mel, which just ended up depressing me. He's a sweet guy, just really depressing. I didn't think I could meet anyone who has less of a social life then I do, but I have.
He's been crazy in love with this chick for a few years now, but he won't tell her. I keep telling him he needs to tell her, but he's scared to. Scared she will reject him and end their friendship.
That poor boy needs to get laid.
I love your work, here is another stack
I got a nice email last week from the book company for my review. They asked if I could do some more stuff for them.
Um, sure. I 've done 5 already and this is the first time anyone has bothered to say thanks. Also the only time they have bothered to read the reviews it would seem. So I handed another wish list.
The lady on the other end of the email told me it was odd I was not on her mailing list, and then said she didn't have the copies of what I was wanting. Okay. Whatever.
Hoping to be moved anyway in the next month or two so not too worried if I don't get another shipment of books for awhile.
But, I went back through my emails, and saw it was a second representative from the one who sent me the stack last fall. I guess they don't share their lists.
Um, sure. I 've done 5 already and this is the first time anyone has bothered to say thanks. Also the only time they have bothered to read the reviews it would seem. So I handed another wish list.
The lady on the other end of the email told me it was odd I was not on her mailing list, and then said she didn't have the copies of what I was wanting. Okay. Whatever.
Hoping to be moved anyway in the next month or two so not too worried if I don't get another shipment of books for awhile.
But, I went back through my emails, and saw it was a second representative from the one who sent me the stack last fall. I guess they don't share their lists.
Monday, January 25, 2010
I hate this part
My blog partner for the wrestling blog has asked me to cover her post from last week that she did not do. I am dreading this post. Pushing it off to the very last minute as it is already 3 days late.
I wish she had said to me 3 days ago she would need me to cover it.
Damn it!
But, the wrestling blog is mine. I started it, it's in my name, on my other account. I asked her to join because I needed someone to cover Friday night's show.
She hasn't posted more then a few comments in over a month. Might be time to shop around for yet another partner.
Oh joy oh bliss.
My buddy Darius and I were chatting last night about the Single Dad. This was before I had the phone call with Single Dad. Going on past experience and movie advice, I said "he gave me his number but did not ask for mine. He's not really interested right?"
"Jeez. No. Maybe he's shy?" Darius replied.
I said nothing. I was thinking "my lily white Joel Gertner sized butt shy." Single Dad had messaged me to begin with on the dating site, and was uber eager for me to call him. Then during the call, he asked if he could call me tonight. Of which he has not so I am guessing he's not that into me after all.
Oh rice for dinner.
I wish she had said to me 3 days ago she would need me to cover it.
Damn it!
But, the wrestling blog is mine. I started it, it's in my name, on my other account. I asked her to join because I needed someone to cover Friday night's show.
She hasn't posted more then a few comments in over a month. Might be time to shop around for yet another partner.
Oh joy oh bliss.
My buddy Darius and I were chatting last night about the Single Dad. This was before I had the phone call with Single Dad. Going on past experience and movie advice, I said "he gave me his number but did not ask for mine. He's not really interested right?"
"Jeez. No. Maybe he's shy?" Darius replied.
I said nothing. I was thinking "my lily white Joel Gertner sized butt shy." Single Dad had messaged me to begin with on the dating site, and was uber eager for me to call him. Then during the call, he asked if he could call me tonight. Of which he has not so I am guessing he's not that into me after all.
Oh rice for dinner.
The Dating Curve 2
After he asked me 3 times to phone him, I did. I found out Single Dad is actually 30 and has two kids.
That throws off the zodiac match. Damn! And I realized why such a good looking man is single. At first I was thinking that maybe he's a player, but after five minutes of talking on the phone with him, I realized he's a moron. And he's crude. Very crude.
How is it that men can be so different from the email version to the telephone version?
Not too mention boring. Boring boring boring. At three different points in the conversation, he asked what the time was and said he had to get to bed cause his kids are up early for school, and all three times I said okay nice talking to you, and then he would just keep going. It was more like nice listening to you, cause I didn't get more then a few words in edgewise. Then he asked what I was up to today. I without thinking said nothing. He said he'd call me at supper time.
Would it be wrong not to answer my phone?
That throws off the zodiac match. Damn! And I realized why such a good looking man is single. At first I was thinking that maybe he's a player, but after five minutes of talking on the phone with him, I realized he's a moron. And he's crude. Very crude.
How is it that men can be so different from the email version to the telephone version?
Not too mention boring. Boring boring boring. At three different points in the conversation, he asked what the time was and said he had to get to bed cause his kids are up early for school, and all three times I said okay nice talking to you, and then he would just keep going. It was more like nice listening to you, cause I didn't get more then a few words in edgewise. Then he asked what I was up to today. I without thinking said nothing. He said he'd call me at supper time.
Would it be wrong not to answer my phone?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The Glitteratti
The movie does not come out for another 4 months, but I am already in eager mode.
I am the type of girl who does not get out much because of my health and because of my lack of wealth. I usually get to rent two movies a month at pay day. Or if there is a movie coming to the cinema that I really really want to see, I do that instead.
Kinda sad when it costs lest to rent two movies then it does to go to the cinema. And that is without snacks.
So SATC 2 is a big deal for me. I am already thinking of what I am going to wear. Last time, in 2008 when my sister and I went to see the first SATC movie, we looked like the frumpiest of frumpy next to the sleek teens, pre teens twenty somethings, and the rest of the crowd. And we were dressed by her friend who works in a clothing store. Hot off the racks.
So this time, nothing short of the city burning down will stop me from being the most glittery of the glitterati.
My friend once called me the Zomberazzi. Not cause I am into zombies, but cause I am into vampires. Least I hope that's the reason.
The Dating Curve
I don't date dads. I have no desire for being around kids at all. I have no patience for kids.
This city is like a magnet for single dads. They are everywhere like rabbits.
I have broken my rule 3 times in the past and it was never a good thing. Never.
Last night I got a message on the dating site I joined from a single dad. I have turned down more single dads in the last 8 months since being on this dating site then I can count. I had my finger on the delete key when something said give him a shot. If nothing else, a new friend.
What made me keep this one in the inbox? Everything else matched up to what I am looking for in a guy. He's in his late 20's, dark eyes, dark hair, pale, and is an Aquarius. So that makes him an Aquarius Pig. (he's 26 so he would have been born in the year of the Pig. My perfect Astrological match is either an Aquarius-Dog or a Gemini-Pig, but this is close very very close)
He messaged a few times last night, and this morning offered his phone number. I told him that was too quick but did give him my private email. He seems nice so far.
This city is like a magnet for single dads. They are everywhere like rabbits.
I have broken my rule 3 times in the past and it was never a good thing. Never.
Last night I got a message on the dating site I joined from a single dad. I have turned down more single dads in the last 8 months since being on this dating site then I can count. I had my finger on the delete key when something said give him a shot. If nothing else, a new friend.
What made me keep this one in the inbox? Everything else matched up to what I am looking for in a guy. He's in his late 20's, dark eyes, dark hair, pale, and is an Aquarius. So that makes him an Aquarius Pig. (he's 26 so he would have been born in the year of the Pig. My perfect Astrological match is either an Aquarius-Dog or a Gemini-Pig, but this is close very very close)
He messaged a few times last night, and this morning offered his phone number. I told him that was too quick but did give him my private email. He seems nice so far.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
8 PM texting
how it going? -Darius
Could be bettterr. i hate text. email me- ME
not home. -Darius
Sending U emial anyywa. -ME
I have this thing about using my cell phone as just a cell phone. The art of text messaging is a lost thing on me. Not because I am against it, because I mess up too much. Lucky for me, my buddy Darius is the only one I really text. The rest of the time I email or just phone.
The email went like this
"I think that Mr. S. voted on the poll on my blog this week. I just checked it. There was a new vote just before the poll closed. I am sure it was him. On my main blog I mean."
I am still waiting for Darius to get home. Which, given the fact he has a girlfriend might not be till tomorrow. We have some half proofs that Mr. S. reads one of my sites, and has for a while. I just don't understand why he's never said so much as Hi. yet?
I had a short chat with SDG about Caleb and her blog too tonight.
"I saw them talk about my blog on air." SDG said on skype
"That's great. I told you it would just take some time. Now you understand why I am the way I am about things showing up on the show last summer. So no more negative sounds out of you."
"I promise. Now I just have to work harder at what I write." SDG replied.
"Yes. Oh, I think Caleb is reading my blog. He's been smiling a lot more. I know I posted about him never smiling much and now out of nowhere he is."
SDG just sat there for a few minutes silent. I wasn't sure if she was even paying attention to me. Then she replied
"It's not that I don't like Caleb, its just that he's so...I don't know. I still think you are wasting your time with liking him. He's so pasty looking. At lest we know you and I will never go after the same men. Different tastes."
I am really not sure what to think of SDG. Is she really in the mind set that I'm lower then a guy like Caleb or is there something I am missing? Shouldn't your friends be there to support you when you have a crush ?
Could be bettterr. i hate text. email me- ME
not home. -Darius
Sending U emial anyywa. -ME
I have this thing about using my cell phone as just a cell phone. The art of text messaging is a lost thing on me. Not because I am against it, because I mess up too much. Lucky for me, my buddy Darius is the only one I really text. The rest of the time I email or just phone.
The email went like this
"I think that Mr. S. voted on the poll on my blog this week. I just checked it. There was a new vote just before the poll closed. I am sure it was him. On my main blog I mean."
I am still waiting for Darius to get home. Which, given the fact he has a girlfriend might not be till tomorrow. We have some half proofs that Mr. S. reads one of my sites, and has for a while. I just don't understand why he's never said so much as Hi. yet?
I had a short chat with SDG about Caleb and her blog too tonight.
"I saw them talk about my blog on air." SDG said on skype
"That's great. I told you it would just take some time. Now you understand why I am the way I am about things showing up on the show last summer. So no more negative sounds out of you."
"I promise. Now I just have to work harder at what I write." SDG replied.
"Yes. Oh, I think Caleb is reading my blog. He's been smiling a lot more. I know I posted about him never smiling much and now out of nowhere he is."
SDG just sat there for a few minutes silent. I wasn't sure if she was even paying attention to me. Then she replied
"It's not that I don't like Caleb, its just that he's so...I don't know. I still think you are wasting your time with liking him. He's so pasty looking. At lest we know you and I will never go after the same men. Different tastes."
I am really not sure what to think of SDG. Is she really in the mind set that I'm lower then a guy like Caleb or is there something I am missing? Shouldn't your friends be there to support you when you have a crush ?
I got more noodles
Photo by Me (copyright hcvp'2010)
My favourite Starbucks employee David was in the bakery of the grocery when I got there. He gave me one of his deep sigh shrugs. He normally stops to chat with me but I could see he was in no mood. When I had checked out of the Safeway with my eggs and ramen noodles, I saw the line at Starbucks was a good fifteen people deep. There would be no stopping to chat today. Which kind of sucks cause David is really cute.
One of the old employees who has long since gone off to college, used to give me free coffees. I miss him.
I trugged on home checked my emails to find I had gotten the latest updates from the publishing company who rejected my short story last fall. It was erotica. I don't normally write erotica, but I did what they were asking for only to be rejected. I had spotted their add on a book group I am part of and thought what the hell. They told me I was not what they were looking for because I did not have enough detailed sex in my story and pointed out my Canadian spelling as being bad spelling. Stupid American company.
I had signed up for their mailing list when I had submitted my short story. I stay on their mailing list just in case. But all I see them publish are same sex stories. Which is great if that's your thing.
I am glad I was able to get out this morning cause now we have ice pellets. Not really frozen rain, not really snow.
I'm writting as fast as I can
Photo by me (copyright hcvp'07)I have a deadline.
I have an agreement for a loan if I can meet that deadline.
May 1st 2010.
I have never been good with deadlines.
I have a weekly column that I love. It takes high rank over everything else. I do not get paid for it.
I am suppose to be doing a book review for a book on the history of beer. I have not even opened the book yet. I've let other things get ahead of it. I am not good with deadlines.
I see your future
I check my emails as I do every morning, and see the usual; my horoscope, a middle of the night reply from SDG on something I emailed her the day before, spam, more spam and a message from some psychic that I forgotten I'd even signed up for.
I check what the psychic has to say. According to her my relationship is about to end. That's funny as I am totally single. Have been for the last 3 years. Well, okay 3 one night stands and an internet f**k buddy doesn't really count, I am still single.
Anyway, this email from the psychic goes on about how she did my chart and sees some big uber badness about to hit my relationship and that my partner (god forbid they say husband or lover in these things) is on the brink of leaving me if I don't pull my head out of my ass.
All this from my birthday, which she copied wrong anyway. My birthday is March 22 and she has it listed on this email as the 20th. God, even in cyber space my head space is messed up and I'm overlooked.
This is serious business folks for just $45.99 I can have this unmet psychic cast my full chart and tell me just when the planets will be in the proper spot for me to grab a hold of the power they wish to give me smoothing out all my troubles.
Or you know, for less then $20 I can buy "The only Astrology book You will ever Need" the revised second edition, and cast my own charts. Which I have been doing for 12 years now. Okay, not really cast my charts as much as looking up what planet is where on what day then cross referencing the meaning of that planet. Yes I study Astrology as a hobby. If you want to call it that. I am a horoscope junkie.
Back to the emails. SDG is in a bad mood by the looks of things. She's only answering in single lined sentences. This is going to be a less then fun day dealing with her.
I check what the psychic has to say. According to her my relationship is about to end. That's funny as I am totally single. Have been for the last 3 years. Well, okay 3 one night stands and an internet f**k buddy doesn't really count, I am still single.
Anyway, this email from the psychic goes on about how she did my chart and sees some big uber badness about to hit my relationship and that my partner (god forbid they say husband or lover in these things) is on the brink of leaving me if I don't pull my head out of my ass.
All this from my birthday, which she copied wrong anyway. My birthday is March 22 and she has it listed on this email as the 20th. God, even in cyber space my head space is messed up and I'm overlooked.
This is serious business folks for just $45.99 I can have this unmet psychic cast my full chart and tell me just when the planets will be in the proper spot for me to grab a hold of the power they wish to give me smoothing out all my troubles.
Or you know, for less then $20 I can buy "The only Astrology book You will ever Need" the revised second edition, and cast my own charts. Which I have been doing for 12 years now. Okay, not really cast my charts as much as looking up what planet is where on what day then cross referencing the meaning of that planet. Yes I study Astrology as a hobby. If you want to call it that. I am a horoscope junkie.
Back to the emails. SDG is in a bad mood by the looks of things. She's only answering in single lined sentences. This is going to be a less then fun day dealing with her.
8 am phone
"Okay. Tell me about the book" I try to balance the little cell phone while I make a cup of coffee.
"I don't know." the Goddess says then screams as she's just burned herself with the hair straightener on the other end. Also trying to do something while balancing a cell phone. Both of us went totally cellular and got rid of house phones last year. "It's kinda like Bridget Jones but on crack."
"The character is a drug addict?"
"No she's...stupid hang on." I hear her drop the phone. Taking to my sister is like being on hold most the time and the second you give up and hang up she picks up again and gets mad at you. Well, me. She's not like this with anyone else. I listen sipping at my too hot coffee burning my mouth as I tend to do every morning. "I don't know. It's kinda of like Bridget Jones but not. It's crazier. But it sort of reminds me of Emma too. And that one I gave you few years back about the girl obsessed with Jack Wagner."
"So it's a typical chick-lit?"
"Pretty much. So do you want it or not cause otherwise I will take it in to work and offer it up in the staff room."
"Free books are good."
"I don't know." the Goddess says then screams as she's just burned herself with the hair straightener on the other end. Also trying to do something while balancing a cell phone. Both of us went totally cellular and got rid of house phones last year. "It's kinda like Bridget Jones but on crack."
"The character is a drug addict?"
"No she's...stupid hang on." I hear her drop the phone. Taking to my sister is like being on hold most the time and the second you give up and hang up she picks up again and gets mad at you. Well, me. She's not like this with anyone else. I listen sipping at my too hot coffee burning my mouth as I tend to do every morning. "I don't know. It's kinda of like Bridget Jones but not. It's crazier. But it sort of reminds me of Emma too. And that one I gave you few years back about the girl obsessed with Jack Wagner."
"So it's a typical chick-lit?"
"Pretty much. So do you want it or not cause otherwise I will take it in to work and offer it up in the staff room."
"Free books are good."
Friday, January 22, 2010
Earl Grey and Incense smoke
More scuffing around the apartment with a cup of tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
I am frustrated. I do not get paid for what I do. I can't, I am on disability for my O.I. anything else I might make would be taken from me by the government.
So the book reviews I do for the free books. The wrestling reviews I do cause I love the company. The movies and general book reviews I do as a hobby.
The articles I do for the online women's magazine I do to try and get noticed by editors or publishers. So far, nothing.
I want a real job. I have been on disability now for 12 years and hate it. I'm stuck. And that is so not what a man wants to hear when he asks you what you do for a living. It's tough enough telling him about the Osteogenesis Imperfecta, so I usually just tell them I am a freelance writer. Which I am. Sort of.
I used to work in television when I was still fresh and in college. But that's long since behind me.
Scuff scuff scuff and I always seem to spill my tea or coffee on myself. I swear everything I own is covered in coffee stains. It's why I wear black most the time. All I can taste is incense smoke. Can't smell it, another side effect of the O.I. loss of smell, but damn it, I can taste the smoke.
It's weird, I have stopped dating. Well, stopped trying to date as I wasn't getting much of anything in the way of offers. Last summer was the busiest I have been date wise in 20 years. And now, nothing. It's the season. Men tend to disappear once we start heading into February.
There are nights like this that I miss Deacon. I shouldn't, as he destroyed my life, but he was the best sex I have ever had. No one before or after has ever measured up. Clear my throat again from the smoke. My shoulders are getting tight from the last few hours of being over this laptop having done another review for the wrestling blog. We've all heard the phrase starving artist, but seriously, how many ways can you make a package of ramen noodles?
Tonight I had mushroom flavoured with chopped onions and broccoli. Frozen broccoli.
I never thought I would be nearly 36 and having to live like I did when I was in college, on soup and ramen noodles.
I am frustrated. I do not get paid for what I do. I can't, I am on disability for my O.I. anything else I might make would be taken from me by the government.
So the book reviews I do for the free books. The wrestling reviews I do cause I love the company. The movies and general book reviews I do as a hobby.
The articles I do for the online women's magazine I do to try and get noticed by editors or publishers. So far, nothing.
I want a real job. I have been on disability now for 12 years and hate it. I'm stuck. And that is so not what a man wants to hear when he asks you what you do for a living. It's tough enough telling him about the Osteogenesis Imperfecta, so I usually just tell them I am a freelance writer. Which I am. Sort of.
I used to work in television when I was still fresh and in college. But that's long since behind me.
Scuff scuff scuff and I always seem to spill my tea or coffee on myself. I swear everything I own is covered in coffee stains. It's why I wear black most the time. All I can taste is incense smoke. Can't smell it, another side effect of the O.I. loss of smell, but damn it, I can taste the smoke.
It's weird, I have stopped dating. Well, stopped trying to date as I wasn't getting much of anything in the way of offers. Last summer was the busiest I have been date wise in 20 years. And now, nothing. It's the season. Men tend to disappear once we start heading into February.
There are nights like this that I miss Deacon. I shouldn't, as he destroyed my life, but he was the best sex I have ever had. No one before or after has ever measured up. Clear my throat again from the smoke. My shoulders are getting tight from the last few hours of being over this laptop having done another review for the wrestling blog. We've all heard the phrase starving artist, but seriously, how many ways can you make a package of ramen noodles?
Tonight I had mushroom flavoured with chopped onions and broccoli. Frozen broccoli.
I never thought I would be nearly 36 and having to live like I did when I was in college, on soup and ramen noodles.
The Wannabe Socialite
Sophia is a wanna be socialite. I say wannabe because this city, not the place that really caters to socialites.
Sophia has watched too many gossip shows and read too many fashion magazines. She's barely 5 foot 2 inches tall, 28 years old and native. Her hair is the only thing that really has people stopping to look. It's her glory.
She has a few minor issues, like drugs. Sophia has bought into the idea that to be someone you have to be doing someone who is doing someone etc. She has her dope dealer on speed dial. No pun intended.
My sister the Goddess has been friends with Sophia for going on 13 years. And my sister the Goddess has cleaned up Sophia's messes more then once. She has driven her to rehab and back more then once.
Sophia tried being a singer when she was a teenager. It didn't work. It didn't work because Sophia can't carry a tune if it was in a lunch pail. Now she's trying to be an actress. It seems to be keeping her out of rehab but she's only doing community theater.
She keeps telling us all that she will make it big one day.
None of us are really holding our breath.
I made the mistake of working on a project with Sophia few years ago. She kept making me promises that never saw any results. She kept hiring her girlfriends because they were pretty.
Sophia and I are not really friends anymore, we only keep in touch once a year on Facebook.
Sophia has watched too many gossip shows and read too many fashion magazines. She's barely 5 foot 2 inches tall, 28 years old and native. Her hair is the only thing that really has people stopping to look. It's her glory.
She has a few minor issues, like drugs. Sophia has bought into the idea that to be someone you have to be doing someone who is doing someone etc. She has her dope dealer on speed dial. No pun intended.
My sister the Goddess has been friends with Sophia for going on 13 years. And my sister the Goddess has cleaned up Sophia's messes more then once. She has driven her to rehab and back more then once.
Sophia tried being a singer when she was a teenager. It didn't work. It didn't work because Sophia can't carry a tune if it was in a lunch pail. Now she's trying to be an actress. It seems to be keeping her out of rehab but she's only doing community theater.
She keeps telling us all that she will make it big one day.
None of us are really holding our breath.
I made the mistake of working on a project with Sophia few years ago. She kept making me promises that never saw any results. She kept hiring her girlfriends because they were pretty.
Sophia and I are not really friends anymore, we only keep in touch once a year on Facebook.
Buddys got to love them
"Interesting read. Goddess? I mean your sister is cute but come on now." the email read.
I gave the link for this blog to my buddy Darius. We haven't been friends that long, just since the summer. We worked together briefly after meeting at a wrestling event.
"There was this time we were walking from the mall, my sister was being semi-stalked by this guy on a bicycle. He was so interested in her that he slammed into a pole." my return email reply.
"Wow. Okay. I half way see why you would call her that then. But... don't discount yourself. Mr. S. likes you." his email said.
Mr. S. is a man I have never actually met. He's a celebrity. I talk about him a lot on my other blog, and have been linked to his official blog.
I am aware that Mr. S. is aware of me. Mr. S. has yet to make direct contact, though there has been things hinted at on his show.
Darius got a real job and stopped working with me on the online magazine (okay it's a wrestling blog ) and I had to get someone new to cover his column.
Twice.
I gave the link for this blog to my buddy Darius. We haven't been friends that long, just since the summer. We worked together briefly after meeting at a wrestling event.
"There was this time we were walking from the mall, my sister was being semi-stalked by this guy on a bicycle. He was so interested in her that he slammed into a pole." my return email reply.
"Wow. Okay. I half way see why you would call her that then. But... don't discount yourself. Mr. S. likes you." his email said.
Mr. S. is a man I have never actually met. He's a celebrity. I talk about him a lot on my other blog, and have been linked to his official blog.
I am aware that Mr. S. is aware of me. Mr. S. has yet to make direct contact, though there has been things hinted at on his show.
Darius got a real job and stopped working with me on the online magazine (okay it's a wrestling blog ) and I had to get someone new to cover his column.
Twice.
Ramen Noodle Recipe #1
Photo by me (copyright hcvp'09)1 cup Eggplant
1 cup Mushrooms
Tomato
Onion
Peppers 1 Green and 1 Red
1/2 cup Pea Pods
1 cup Broccoli
1/2 cup Green Beans
1 Carrot
1/2 cup Celery
1/2 cupWater Chestnuts
1 cup Zucchini
3 cup Water
2 handfuls Steamed Noodles
Chop all but the pea pods and green beans.
Boil broccoli till tender, then add the rest of the vegetables and the noodles.
Boil for another few minutes.
Stir and serve.
I originally posted this version of ramen noodles on my cooking blog last summer
http://mynewfiekitchen.blogspot.com/2009/08/menu-aug-16th-2009.html
Why can't I have Caleb?
Picture it, pale skin, red hair, blue eyes, 31 years old and built like a WWE wrestler.
Caleb, my latest obsession.
Which, according to my friend the Social Disorder Girl, (SDG) I'm not good enough for.
SDG never leaves her house. She's one of my internet friends. And according to her theories on life, I am not good enough to have a guy as hot has Caleb. Not even as a friend.
Um why? What's so horrible about me that I can't have Caleb?
"You're just not pretty enough. Guys like Caleb only date women like Caleb. Tall, toned and thin. Sorry but it's true. You will be just wasting your time by wanting him." she says while on skype the other night.
"I've actually dated guys who look like they could be celebrities." I remind her of my EX boyfriend who ruined my life. He looked like the Miz.
"You were also 40 pounds thinner when you and Deacon dated."
So this is what she thinks of me is it? Good to know. Gritting my teeth I change the topic to the episode of wrestling from the night before.
I actually spent the rest of the night scuffing around my apartment clanking silverware while making coffee, unable to sleep, my mind going back from anger at what she said to total depression at what she had said. I finally had to take a sleeping pill just to get my mind to shut up.
Caleb, my latest obsession.
Which, according to my friend the Social Disorder Girl, (SDG) I'm not good enough for.
SDG never leaves her house. She's one of my internet friends. And according to her theories on life, I am not good enough to have a guy as hot has Caleb. Not even as a friend.
Um why? What's so horrible about me that I can't have Caleb?
"You're just not pretty enough. Guys like Caleb only date women like Caleb. Tall, toned and thin. Sorry but it's true. You will be just wasting your time by wanting him." she says while on skype the other night.
"I've actually dated guys who look like they could be celebrities." I remind her of my EX boyfriend who ruined my life. He looked like the Miz.
"You were also 40 pounds thinner when you and Deacon dated."
So this is what she thinks of me is it? Good to know. Gritting my teeth I change the topic to the episode of wrestling from the night before.
I actually spent the rest of the night scuffing around my apartment clanking silverware while making coffee, unable to sleep, my mind going back from anger at what she said to total depression at what she had said. I finally had to take a sleeping pill just to get my mind to shut up.
4 coffees later
The Goddess, my sister, has been having an affair for the last year and a half with a married man.
I do not approve. It's put our relationship to almost nothing. She's younger then I am by 8 years. She's also the one in the family who landed the movie star looks.
I look like a sheep dog.
O.I. can show up two ways, broken parts or internal issues. I got the broken parts, she got the ulcers, reproductive issues etc.
The Goddess is a perfectionist that can not handle stress of any kind. So why is she having an affair with a married man? Don't know. Totally beats me.
She just spent the last month hiding from the world on our mother's sofa. Why you ask, she semi-broke up with the Married Man. I think it's more then fishy he broke up with her at Christmas time then got back with her just after the New Year. But that's just me.
My longest relationship was a year. It ended badly. Very badly. He was a cheating liar. I bumped into the guy a full year afterwards and he started to act all lovey-dovey but I yelled at him in a public place.
Yeah, smooth I know. I'm very emotional at times. I have a temper. I have been in and out of "anger management" more then once in the last decade. I'll get more into everything later.
The Nurse and I have been friends for 31 years. She's happily un-married to the same man for the last 16 of those years. He's a sweetheart. They have 3 kids together. I see her twice a year now and we live in the same city. It's weird cause we grew up across the street from each other and used to hang out all the time. I think I hate growing up.
I do not approve. It's put our relationship to almost nothing. She's younger then I am by 8 years. She's also the one in the family who landed the movie star looks.
I look like a sheep dog.
O.I. can show up two ways, broken parts or internal issues. I got the broken parts, she got the ulcers, reproductive issues etc.
The Goddess is a perfectionist that can not handle stress of any kind. So why is she having an affair with a married man? Don't know. Totally beats me.
She just spent the last month hiding from the world on our mother's sofa. Why you ask, she semi-broke up with the Married Man. I think it's more then fishy he broke up with her at Christmas time then got back with her just after the New Year. But that's just me.
My longest relationship was a year. It ended badly. Very badly. He was a cheating liar. I bumped into the guy a full year afterwards and he started to act all lovey-dovey but I yelled at him in a public place.
Yeah, smooth I know. I'm very emotional at times. I have a temper. I have been in and out of "anger management" more then once in the last decade. I'll get more into everything later.
The Nurse and I have been friends for 31 years. She's happily un-married to the same man for the last 16 of those years. He's a sweetheart. They have 3 kids together. I see her twice a year now and we live in the same city. It's weird cause we grew up across the street from each other and used to hang out all the time. I think I hate growing up.
January 22nd 2010
Ramen noodles.
Quick, cheap and easy. A favourite of many college students. A favourite of many living on social assistance.
I am one of those people.
It's mucky, cold and grey outside today. I got an email from my friend the Nurse telling me not to leave my apartment again today if I did not need to because it's so slippery. My sister the Goddess, sent me a text message saying the same thing. Both fell on their way to work today.
Lucky me, the only time I get thought of anymore is when the weather is bad. Thanks, I think.
I'm broke. Really need to get to the store for groceries, and I can't leave the apartment. I'm down to my last few packages of ramen noodles and a half bag of frozen veggies. At lest I have coffee right?
I'll get more to me as time goes on, and you'll understand. But let me introduce you to why I got these "too slippery to leave" messages today. I have Osteogenesis Imperfecta. Type 1. That translates into the brittle bone disease. I fall down I break, I bump into things I break.
I have more metal in me then a *Canadian Tire. Had more surgeries to fix shattered parts then I want to count.
Well, there you go, the beginning.
*Canadian Tire is the biggest hardware store chain in Canada.
Quick, cheap and easy. A favourite of many college students. A favourite of many living on social assistance.
I am one of those people.
It's mucky, cold and grey outside today. I got an email from my friend the Nurse telling me not to leave my apartment again today if I did not need to because it's so slippery. My sister the Goddess, sent me a text message saying the same thing. Both fell on their way to work today.
Lucky me, the only time I get thought of anymore is when the weather is bad. Thanks, I think.
I'm broke. Really need to get to the store for groceries, and I can't leave the apartment. I'm down to my last few packages of ramen noodles and a half bag of frozen veggies. At lest I have coffee right?
I'll get more to me as time goes on, and you'll understand. But let me introduce you to why I got these "too slippery to leave" messages today. I have Osteogenesis Imperfecta. Type 1. That translates into the brittle bone disease. I fall down I break, I bump into things I break.
I have more metal in me then a *Canadian Tire. Had more surgeries to fix shattered parts then I want to count.
Well, there you go, the beginning.
*Canadian Tire is the biggest hardware store chain in Canada.
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