Sunday, August 22, 2010

What is going on here?

Not part of my life anymore.  Emailed me twice in the last 48hours.  Simply saying he knows he did nothing wrong.    That's fairly odd timing given that Mr. S. just seemed to do a 180. 

I'm not eating, I'm not sleeping and have lost nearly 6 pounds in less then 4 days because of this.  What is this? 
This was a blog.  Simple.  Just a blog.  It's caused me more grief in the last year then I could ever have imagined. 
I do not handle stress at all let alone well.

I have gone over my blog close to fifty times trying to understand what might have caused Mr. S. to go from using my topics and themes to saying what he said.   I just can not figure it out.  I haven't changed tactic at all.   This is eating me up alive. 
Then Darius sends me emails out of nowhere asking why I won't talk to him.  Telling me he's done nothing wrong. 

For anyone just coming into this mess at this point,  Darius and I were friends and business partners. We started a wrestling fan site together.  He left and I had another writer working with me.  That turned out to be a mistake.  About 4 months ago, Darius who had always been a big supporter of Mr.S. made a pass at me and I turned him down.  He then started to make comments about Mr.S. and trying to make me feel guilty.  Darius went from being the first one to say that Mr. S. liked me after I'd gotten the attention of the company to telling me Mr. S was too good for me and I should settle for what I could get, Darius meaning himself.
He's always drunk, always stoned, messages me from the bar at 2am, emails me in the morning to tell me he's hungover.  I stopped having anything to do with him.

Then I wrote a short story for a writers group, and said on my blog I used a piece of a comment Mr. S. had said once.  Figured he's used my stuff in the past why not eh.  One of the other wrestlers seemed to like it cause he turned the ending into a promo on the show.   I was thrilled. 
That was the first night Darius emailed me after over a month of nothing.  Drunk, begging me to talk to him. Thinking I was upset over something he did on Facebook. 

I was upset that he disrespected me by telling me I was not good enough for anyone but him. That I was not worth being with anyone other then a drunk local guy. 

This is my reputation on the line.  The blog was really starting to take off.  I had/have the attention of the people I admire and respect. And now it's in the toilet.  

Everyone who came into my life in the last year because of the wrestling blog has left me nothing but fear and headaches. 

And if Mr. S. is suddenly upset with me. Then all this is really really for nothing.

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