Okay

It's November.   I bailed on this blog I know, did not even make it a full year. 
But... if the gossip and drama on here gave you a giggle and had you saying "at lest my life doesn't suck like that"   then feel free to join me on my latest creation.


CLEAN YOUR SHORTS! Cocktails, Lipstick Stains and Sex in MY City.

Not so anonymous over there.

What a week

I was a Blogger of Note yesterday on my main blog for the Words of Wisdom writing group.  Very cool.
I've started adding more poems and short stories to that blog, just trying to keep it up beat.

The planet Mercury is in retrograde right now until the 12th of Sept. That means, communication and electronic break downs all over the board.

My mom goes in next month for eye surgery, so I know that will be taking up a big chunk of time.  I go for CTscans on my back the week after. 

And my dad.  For anyone who missed it the other day on my main blog,  he cut his fingers off.  Was drunk working with a table saw and sliced all four fingers on one hand nearly off and had to be in surgery for 6 hours.  

Yes my family is a mess.  Off to do the dishes.

Its not worth it

I decided to finally stop the wrestling blog.  For now anyway. 
If you have been reading this since the beginning, then you know that I was putting close to 20 hours a week into the blog and stressing to the point of being sick. 
I have no idea what happened in the last few days, but I lost favour with the main company I was writing for.  And remember I was doing this out of love as a fan.  Not even getting paid for it. 
I had been doing this now for the last few years, and had finally ironically, gotten noticed by my favourite company TNA,  and the big competition WWE.  The official review magazines and blogs had at one point even changed their style to match mine -no puns intended- and I thought I was coasting sweet.

I guess I pissed the wrong person off cause, the one person who seemed to be loving my shit, trashed me.
So I'm done for now.  Now what am I going to do with my life?

What is going on here?

Darius.
Not part of my life anymore.  Emailed me twice in the last 48hours.  Simply saying he knows he did nothing wrong.    That's fairly odd timing given that Mr. S. just seemed to do a 180. 

I'm not eating, I'm not sleeping and have lost nearly 6 pounds in less then 4 days because of this.  What is this? 
This was a blog.  Simple.  Just a blog.  It's caused me more grief in the last year then I could ever have imagined. 
I do not handle stress at all let alone well.

I have gone over my blog close to fifty times trying to understand what might have caused Mr. S. to go from using my topics and themes to saying what he said.   I just can not figure it out.  I haven't changed tactic at all.   This is eating me up alive. 
Then Darius sends me emails out of nowhere asking why I won't talk to him.  Telling me he's done nothing wrong. 

For anyone just coming into this mess at this point,  Darius and I were friends and business partners. We started a wrestling fan site together.  He left and I had another writer working with me.  That turned out to be a mistake.  About 4 months ago, Darius who had always been a big supporter of Mr.S. made a pass at me and I turned him down.  He then started to make comments about Mr.S. and trying to make me feel guilty.  Darius went from being the first one to say that Mr. S. liked me after I'd gotten the attention of the company to telling me Mr. S was too good for me and I should settle for what I could get, Darius meaning himself.
He's always drunk, always stoned, messages me from the bar at 2am, emails me in the morning to tell me he's hungover.  I stopped having anything to do with him.

Then I wrote a short story for a writers group, and said on my blog I used a piece of a comment Mr. S. had said once.  Figured he's used my stuff in the past why not eh.  One of the other wrestlers seemed to like it cause he turned the ending into a promo on the show.   I was thrilled. 
That was the first night Darius emailed me after over a month of nothing.  Drunk, begging me to talk to him. Thinking I was upset over something he did on Facebook. 

I was upset that he disrespected me by telling me I was not good enough for anyone but him. That I was not worth being with anyone other then a drunk local guy. 

This is my reputation on the line.  The blog was really starting to take off.  I had/have the attention of the people I admire and respect. And now it's in the toilet.  

Everyone who came into my life in the last year because of the wrestling blog has left me nothing but fear and headaches. 

And if Mr. S. is suddenly upset with me. Then all this is really really for nothing.

He's spooked

I don't know when it went wrong, but it did.
Mr. S. posted something this week that makes me think he's suddenly upset with me big time. Which is possible, given how much I bitch at him.
But this is different.  He made a comment that really hurt.  And now I do not know if he's angry, joking, or actually getting stressed.
Mel thinks I am being egotistical in thinking it was even directed at me. Which is possible. 
My sister the Goddess thinks he's just needing to take shit out on someone and I got hit in the process.
My friend the Nurse, thinks I'm reading it wrong and that he most likely meant nothing serious from it.
Jordan the Gay Guy, just shrugged and said that it was bound to happen.

To be honest, I feel like I was dumped or something.  We are talking about a column I have been doing for the last few years, that I have been lucky enough to have the people I write about reading and responding to.  But, this feels like a direct slap to the face. 

I really like Mr. S.  and I just do not want him hating me.  His opinion matters so much to me.

A dumping of bad energy

Everything has been on an upswing the last few weeks.

That was until about 3 hours ago.   I got an email from Mel and suddenly

• I found out one of my email accounts was empty.  3 years of notes from my spiritual studies gone, back ups of my novels gone, poetry gone, photos I had cleaned out of my computer gone,  old conversations from past boyfrinds gone.   Even the folder for everything was gone and my contact list.   Only thing there was a "welcome to your email here is the start up"  email from them
• I have not had any headaches or sinus issues for the last 3 and a half weeks since getting a reiki session done.  I feel like my face is going to explode now. Like my jaw and left eye are pulsating.
• My plans for the weekend which were to see Eat Pray Love  have been rescheduled because of the main person going out of town.

It's as if the energy in his email set off a whirlwind of chaos.

Aug 5th 2010

I was trying to keep it separate.

I thought, things have gotten too much, the wrong people have been reading me and I can no longer be honest.

So I created this blog.  Anonymous.  

Well, it was at first.  Then I got comfortable and opened up more then I had planned.  Soon, things got blended again.

Like my Facebook and Twitter.  I had the old accounts and when I created this blog, I created new ones for my blog buddies.  
People started to wonder what happened to me. Why I stopped using them.   Some I had to tell about the new accounts, some I have not.  
I've heard so many people, mostly women,  say on the blogging communities that they regret having given out blog/facebook/myspace/twitter urls to certain people.  I know how they feel.  I thought I had dealt with everything I needed to deal with  but sadly it seems today I have not.

I no longer know what I am doing.   I no longer know where my head is at or my heart for that matter.

Confusion, Chaos and Cookies (I needed another "C" word) seems to be the order of the day.

I think I need to leave for a while

I've just finished 2 of the book reviews that were pressing down on me, and an interview with one author.

My sister's boyfriend has indeed proposed to her. And since he's in the middle of his divorce from his first wife, it's going to be at lest a year but it's coming.

My doctor thinks I have a few fractures in my lower back and hips.  I'm going for x-rays today to find out more. 

My dad called out of nowhere yesterday saying he's got cancer and it's really bad.  This is a man who I haven't heard from in 10 years and who spent the first 26 years of my life telling me why he wished I was dead.

And Mr. S.  is dating someone else.

Wednesday July 21

Doorbell rang, woke me up.  Another book for review arrived by FedX
I'm already 2 weeks behind and have 3 other books sitting here.  

I haven't been to anyone's blog in about three weeks to visit, and I need to.

I wrote a short story on my Domestic and Damned blog, for Mr. S.  a piece of it was used on the show by one of the other wrestlers.   I was so excited I can not tell you.  It's not just Mr. S. anymore who likes my work.

As I checked my emails this morning,  there was a request from another writer asking to freelance on my vampire themed blog.   I checked out their stuff but I said no,  I am not looking to share any of my blogs with anyone again.  Just wondering how my blog got listed for a freelancer anyway?

And to cap off everything.    Men.
I was asked out on the weekend by a new guy. Another single dad.  I said yes to coffee, but he canceled last minute Saturday night.  I'm not really surprised or upset for that matter.  He just was not my style. 
Darius.  Darius whom I have not spoken to in a month because of his tantrum over Mr. S.  he emailed me Thursday night out of the blue acting as if nothing was different.  That seems to be his pattern.  I did not reply to him.  He emailed me again on Sunday.  I did not reply to him.  Then last night he emailed me saying he was talking to my mother. 

What the hell?  My mother?  Because I would not return an email. So I replied telling him off.  Within a few minutes he sent another email begging me not to shut him out. 
I was on chatting with Mel when all this happened, and Mel could not believe it either. 
And this is a guy I was only friends with.  If he acts like this with me, then no wonder his girlfriend dumped him. 

Coffee is ready going to have a very large cup and try to wake up. 

Johnny Depp needs to break away from Tim Burton

I saw Alice in Wonderland the other night, and um yeah what was he thinking?

This is like the 3rd film in a row that Depp and Burton have done that have been crap just crap.   (Willy Wanka and Sweeney Todd being the other two. Actually make it 4 total as Corpse Bride sucked too.  Maybe it's not Tim Burton he needs to run from but Burton's wife  Helena Bonham Carter? )

I had been really looking forward to this as I am a major Depp fan, then again who isn't right,  right,  but this just sucked goat backwards it really did. 

I've read two different versions of the story,  the "kid's"  version and the real one.   And if you have not read the real version then you are needing to, cause it's not really for kids.  

I've seen a few other film companies do their versions of AIW in the last year and a half trying to beat this one, and they were much better.  This was just such a let down. 

Thursday July 8th 2010

 My sister's boyfriend had his surgery for the gullstones.  He was feeling really good Tuesday night afterwards,   but is paying for it now.  As of last night, he could not move the pain is too much.  Not sure if my sister the Goddess has gone to work today or not, and to top it all off, they have the kids this weekend.  My sister has taken her role as step-mom with courage. 

We've hit a heatwave.  Nearly +40 degrees Celsius here for the last week.  I'm not good with heat at all.

Nerd by Numbers continued

I replied to the Cliched Nerd's email and it was a big mistake.

"So are there any dungeons around here?"   This is what the Cliched Nerd from the dating site asked me.   I told him I wasn't into that he was asking the wrong girl.  Cliched Nerd did not believe me, and thought I was being "cute"  and went into a launch about how all goth girls are into  bondage and S/M.

" Um  what makes you think that?  And where on earth did you get the idea I am a goth girl? "

"You like vampires.  All goths are into the extreme."  he replied.

I did not reply back.   Yes I like vampires,  no I do not like goth or extreme sex.  It's not my style at all.  And I find it so damned typical of guys lately.   Just because I like vampire movies does not make me a goth or anything else for that matter. 

Another unsuitable suitor bites the dust.

Nerd by Numbers

Everyone has a totally geeky side to them.  Things I find rocking will be of laughter to someone else.
I got asked out by a guy who looks like he jumped right out of a bad ad copy for Geeky Frat Boys or something.

Normally, I love nerdy men.  But this guy is too much of a cliche.  
Mel thinks I should go out with this guy anyways, even though I'm not interested.   Part I think because I talked him into dating a girl who had a thing for him that he was iffy on.  Part I think to get my mind off of Mr. S.

I haven't been on a date in a year so I might... just for a reason to get out of the house.   But that would make me a hypocrite if I dated someone I didn't like just for something to do while I waited around for Mr. Right. 

Wouldn't it?

Where did the week go .... Again?

I spent the day shopping with mom, which is torture for me.  I hate shopping with other people and shopping with mom is like the slowest form of death there is for the soul.

My sister the Goddess's boyfriend has to go in for surgery after the long weekend; which starts today here in Canada as it's Canada Day (July 1st) He's been having horrible gallstone attacks for the last two months.  The doctor has put him on Morphine and it's done nothing to help the pain.  He's been in the emergency twice this week alone.  Gotten so bad HIS mother has come to stay with them, and she lives in another province.  What a way for my sister to meet his mother Eh?

Darius... no longer a friend of mine.  After not hearing from him last week, which I did not think anything of at all as he goes hours between texting; I saw that he removed himself from my friends list on Facebook.   No one is really crushed over it either I must say.  If he's going to react that way then who the hell needs him.  Sometime in the last 6 months Darius let his true self come through, and it just was not a nice one.  He himself would sit there telling me he needed to stop drinking.  When I would say then "Do not go to the bar. Do not buy that case of beer."  he would tell me to save my breath. 
Okay, consider my breath saved.  He even said to me the night of the wrestling that I was not "Good enough  for Mr. S."   big turn around considering he was the one just last summer cheering on Mr. S. like he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. 

Mr. S.   What can I say about him other then "ooppps he did it again"  Two days after I posted on this blog last week, Mr. S. posted on his blog for the week, and he once again pulled something right out of my blog.    Damn it feels good.   I had talked about how Mr. S. had sparked something for my novel, breaking me out of a long writer's block, talking about the scene I wrote and having to do with cereal.  Mr. S.  ran with that for the whole post.  Just yammered on about cereal.
I've made a few posts this week that are directed to Mr. S.  So we'll see if he replies in his post tomorrow.

Otherwise,  it's been a slow week with me trying to catch up with the book reviews.  I got another stack of books from a new publishing company last week, and another company (I think that makes 6 now?)  just asked me yesterday if I would start reviewing a new series of theirs that is being released next month.    That's 7 books I have to review before the end of Aug.  

Where did the week go?

My sister the Goddess has gone out and bought herself a ring.  It's gold with stones lining it.  She's wearing it on her left hand ring finger.   Someone asked her about it the other day when we were leaving mom's apartment, one of mom's neighbours, and my sister simply said "If I had to wait for him to buy it I would be waiting forever. Not that he wouldn't just he can't"  
It looks too much like a wedding ring.   Her boyfriend is still legally married and the divorce is looking like it will be dragging on for a very long time to come, as his ex (can I call her ex if the divorce is not final?) is putting up a massive fight. 
The more I get to know this guy, the less like a bad guy he seems; and my sister is really happy for the first time in her life.
But you know what I really hate about the whole thing, and it's a selfish thing; my sister is 8 years younger then me and she's got the solid relationship, the fabulous apartment, the great career and the wicked group of friends.    YOUNGER then me.  And here I am still struggling. Still single, still living in the same shabby run down apartment that was my first apartment.  


I got a texted last night from Darius, whom I haven't really heard from since the week of the wrestling.  The texted simply said  "U still alive?"   I messaged back saying I was and he texted back asking what I've been up to.   My answer was busy with stuff and pissing off Mr. S. 
Darius never bothered to message me back.    I don't know when the shift happened, but Darius who used to be the one always saying that Mr. S likes me,  has become very snappy and even angry towards Mr. S.

Mel says Darius is jealous.  
Speaking of Mel, he and I were talking about a bunch of things and I jokingly said "maybe Mr. S is shy." Mel quickly jumped in saying that he knows Mr. S is shy, that it's obvious  when he does interviews.   I have never thought of Mr. S as shy before, but going back over old interviews from the last two years, I can see it now. 

And the pissing off Mr. S part, well, my last post I talked about a blog post Mr. S had done that was as if it was a continuation of one of mine.  I did a long blog post on my Domestic and Damned blog few days ago talking about that whole issue, then took a slice of his post from a few weeks back and did my own spin on it as part of a short story. 
Just to see what kind of reaction I will get out of him.   

I hurt my ribs

I have been laughing like a lunatic for the last half hour. Mr. S. just posted for the first time in over two weeks on the official blog. And I am laughing about it why?

Just over 2 weeks ago I posted on my Domestic and Damned blog about my personal sense of fashion. Or lack of it depending on your take on things.
That would end up being right before Mr. S. ended up having some time off. Today, the blog post Mr. S. did was all about his choice in fashion.

I was on the phone with my mother when reading it and started to cackle like something out of a wicked witch story for a good ten minutes. The more mom wanted to know what was so funny and me try to read the posts to her, the more I started to laugh. Which is good as I haven't laughed this much in a while.

But, it was as if Mr. S. had just picked up in the middle of one of my sentences and ran with it for over a page.

I admit that part of it was a dig at something I said, and you know what, that's fine. I love it! It just proves he's still reading me.

Though my mother still tells me I'm crazy. She can't seem to understand why Mr. S. would "waste his time reading something you would write. Nothing you care about is of any interest to anyone else."

I envy anyone who's mom actually likes them.

EEEEEKKKK!!!

There seems to be something wrong with the last post. I had it on timer but it's been disappearing and reappearing.


Sorry to anyone who might be getting things by email

Get over yourself

Remember Jordan the Gay Guy I bumped into him again. I was out of coffee, so I hobbled down to the Tim Hortons at the end of the street. And there he was, sitting at a table right in the corner of the window with his little "pack" of groupies.

"Oh my god! You look tres tres tired. It's so chic very you." JTGG said in his girly squeal. I think I managed a smile. It was meant as a smile, but I confess it might have come off as a snear. There was a time JTGG was one of the closet people in my life, but since he got in with his new group of friends, he's become one of the fakest people around. "Look at you, where have you been hiding? "

Where have I been hiding? I hadn't realized I had been. I got my large double double and turned knowing I would be stuck chatting. I didn't like the way his friend was looking at me. Female friend. For as short as JTGG is, this girl was the opposite. She must have been close to 5'11 and as skinny as a toothpick. Her clothes were hanging off her. She gave me the creeps. Let me just say, that as much as Sex and the City has been a craze here fashion wise, so has Twilight. We have a few guys running around town who could be stand ins for the actor who plays Edward in those movies, as well as half the teenaged female population copying the Bella Swan look. She was a Bella-Wannabe down to the speech pattern. I wish I had gotten photos I really do.

We chatted about my novel for a moment, as I waited for him to mention his "designing" which was all he talked about last time. He said nothing, so I asked. He rolled his eyes and laughed saying that he had been stoned that last day when he talked to me. There's a shocker for ya. But that he was still into it. Then started going on about having seen the movie September Issue the documentary about Vogue's Anna Wintour. (Good movie by the way. ) Then he started picking at my hair. My short little pixie-ish cut hair.
This is where his friend really started to creep me out, and the point to the title of this post. She sat up a little straighter, and started asking me where I lived, that she'd seen me at the Blockbuster a few times. JTGG rolled his eyes at me again and looked over his shoulder at her telling her to not bother.
"She's only into the penis. Penis, penis, penis!"

Now, here I am standing in a small donut shop filled with seniors, the local chapter of the Hell's Angels, a table of giggling teenagers and JTGG's little band of gay friends. I'm a very pale woman, very pale. When I blush it's like a large fuschia stain from the tip of my hairline to the hem of my clothes. And here we were with everyone gaping at us like dead fish while the little gay man screamed the word penis over and over again. And I was trapped standing there for a few more minutes before he finally said he needed to get back to his table.

Now really wishing I gone to the grocery for the coffee instead.

Pine Nuts

So I was playing around with homemade sauces last night. Trying to make homemade Chow Mein.  

I used minced garlic, olive oil, brown sugar and pine nuts as my sauce. 
Not bad.  Was still missing something. Not sure what.




And things were not too horrible, thinking I was finally ready to move on from something, and poof on my main blog I found a comment from the boyfriend of my former Blog Partner.   Out of nowhere.   I thought they had finally left me alone that they had removed themselves totally from me, but no. I'm still slightly pissed off about it. 
I've been ignoring them mostly for the last little while, thinking if I don't reply to his comments he'll go away.  No such luck.  
I ended up just saying if he hates my point of view, don't read me. 

Okay Good to know

My Uncle has been a Chef since I was born. So for the last 36 years he's worked around town in hotel kitchens.

I was talking to him the other day about food, and had asked a question about something (at this point it's actually been over a week and I can't remember what the recipe I was wanting was) and he shrugged saying he'd never heard of it.

Pardon me? What?

I made a couple of more comments and he just laughed and said "What are you asking me for?"

This got me wondering. I started talking about the Leek and Potato soup recipe I had gotten from my friend in Edmonton, and a second way to use Parsnips other then boiling. He had no answers for me.

"Hang on, you mean I know more about food then you do?" He shrugged and said nothing.

I've been dabbling in cooking off and on for a decade, only serious for the last year. How could I know more then him?
My sister the Goddess reminded me that our Uncle works in a hotel 15 hours a day making the same 10 things over and over and over. Uncle cooks for work not for fun. And when he comes home and on his one day off a week, he spends it doing everything BUT in the kitchen.

Kinda sad really.

I think they turned out

I made poached eggs not too long ago.

They seemed okay, left a mess in my kitchen though.

Did He Just Admit That?

I knew something was not right for the last 24 hours. Something I was sure had to do with Mr. S.
The blog post for this week was up about an hour ago.

Now, for anyone who's been following this, you know I have been teasing for a year about Mr. S's weight. As I believe he's too skinny.
I've blogged about this on my old blog and on the Domestic and Damned blog as well.

Last summer when I started that gimmick, Mr. S. cut a promo where he teased back about all the food he eats.

Well, today's post, Mr S. admits he's got an issue with weight. As in he will starve himself and is anorexic.... I'm just in a daze right now as I type this.

Mel thinks it was a very weird post, and that all my teasing on the blogs have caused him to admit he's got an issue with food and in general his self esteem. This is not good. This is horrible.
I know in the post he started off talking about fans asking him about working out, but he went on a rant about food not about working out.
I'm sitting here now almost in tears as I think about the whole thing. I've admitted myself that over the years I battled with Bulimia myself, and know how much damage that can do to a person.

Wither this post of Mr. S's today was any kind of anything in reply to me or not I have no honest idea, but it's left me feeling like the pit of my stomach has dropped out.

Younger fans reading his blog are going to get the wrong idea. People who look up to him who have issues might take that post to be advice or something and copy him.
This is just not good. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out over something honest that a man I've never even met just admitted in a blog post.

The Grunge Guitar Player

I hate grunge music.   That whole Seattle music scene from the early 90's can kiss my lily white arse.
I wish I had taken a photo of the kid, I really do.   I had my book club last night, and we were nicely sitting in the back of the book store at a table in front of the diving line for the store and the coffee shop.  The discussion was going really well we had all these points and quotes and actually laughing. Wonderful.
That was until the 17 year old Cobain wannabe sat down five feet from us with a guitar.  Yeah, he did. 

No he was not busking, he was not alone either.   There were no signs, no post-its no nothing declaring that open mic night for the building's coffee shop but it seems it was, and there were all these teenaged girls swooning over him. 

The kid, and I mean kid,  I'm surprised could even see his guitar for the hair in his eyes.  Not long, just bangs.   It instantly put a cold shoulder on the book club and everyone's attitude got snotty as we couldn't hear each other and ended up having to move out of there.  

Did I mention I am not a fan of grunge or long hair.

Celebrating the Changing of the Underpants!

I posted this last night on the Domestic and Damned blog, but I thought it was just too much that I am reposting it on this one for anyone who doesn't follow me on there.

I got an email on the weekend from The Nurse saying that she finally had a week off work. She has not had a week off since Christmas. So, I phoned her this afternoon but she was out. I left a message with her husband.
That was at 1pm
It's now 7:30pm and I never heard back from her. Okay, I called her again. The chat went like this.

Me: What I get you from?

Nurse: Yay! You going to put those on.... not much trying to get your Nephew to put his underwear on. Potty training is so much fun.

Me: Lovely. this is why I don't have kids. I called earlier.

Nurse: When? There wasn't any message on the machine.

Me: Around 1:00. You're husband answered.

Nurse: After 15 years you should know by now not to leave messages with the Man as he never remembers to tell me. Leave a message on the machine.

Me: But he answered. What was I suppose to do, tell him to hang up so I could phone back and leave a message on the machine?

Nurse: Yeah actually you should have, that way I would have gotten the message... No! Don't touch...... (click)

I phoned back.

Nurse: Sorry. Nephew started to slap at the phone. He's dancing around in circles celebrating.

Me: Celebrating what?

Nurse: The changing of the underpants. He's graduated from diapers to those Pull-Ups. (little voice squealing that he's a big boy and that only babies wear diapers) I'll have to call you back.

Summer = Crazy People

I woke up this morning to an email from Sophia the Wannabe Socialite.

"Hey you! With working and rehearsals and auditions and so many f**kin' birthdays this month, it was ridonkulous!   I'm subscribed to you on youtube.  I'm organizing a one act play festival PLUS doing burlesque shows this summer and applying for a grant to write my musical" 

 Yes, out of nowhere I get this email.  No thanks for the advice on the Eczema, no how are you doing, no what's up in your world.   Just a big old me me me from her. 

You know,  as a blogger, I spend my time being very me me me,  as do all bloggers it's what a blog is for; but when you get a personal email  you would expect a bit of give as well as take.

Dude, listen to your witch doctor

Photo by Me copyright hcvp 2010

The other day, as I was coming out of the movie, I bumped into Sophia the Wannabe Socialite. She was on her way to work.

She shoved her arm in my face pointing to it. She was wearing a strapless outfit that really did not look good on her at all, but it was 30c here (I believe that equals close to 80 f in the US )

What she was showing me was the horrible case of Eczema that she's got suddenly. All she said was the creams her doctor gave her are not working and did I know of anything to help.

I'm not a herbalist it's not my strong suite. But I knew what the cause of it was, she works in a soap shop. We have a Lush at the mall, which is a great store, only it's the size of a closet. She's always had ultra sensitive skin, and the fact that place does not have proper air vents, it's doing a number on her skin.

Only she wouldn't listen to me tell her that. So, I said I'd check my books. Now, other then the obvious, which is Aloe Vera, the only other thing I could tell her was to use lavender or yarrow. Only thing is my books don't always say how to use the herbs, just a list of what to use. I'm guessing for a skin issue, a cold compress of the herbs.

But, my first advice to her would be to wear long sleeves when at work and to get outside of the shop as often as possible.

Sex and the City 2 -review

This is the same post I just did on my Domestic and Damned blog, so if you are following both, you only need to read this once.



I got up, got ready and flew out of this apartment to catch a bus to get to the cinema for when the doors opened, thinking what if I'm wrong about the crowds and the place is jammed.... only to get to the ticket counter and have the lady ask me if I wanted my ticket for the 2 pm showing.
What? Why would I be standing here at 11:15am with an 11:45am showing of the film if I wanted a later ticket. Where they sold out too?
No, she was just not aware there was an 11:45am showing.
Hang on! You work here and you didn't even realize there was an early showing?


Now, how to do this without spoilers....

Plot: Samantha is offered a job in Abu Dhabi doing press for a new hotel. Which is just in time, as Charlotte is having a minor breakdown over being a mom, Miranda just quit her job and Carrie is having issues with Big. While there, the ladies fall pray to the cultural differences and even end up getting arrested.

I wish they had used more of the flashback scene. It was more of a tease then a full scene. I'm hoping the directors cut of the dvd will put that to better use.
All our familiar men are back with little roles this time, and we start off with a massive plot point that almost feels like it was edited down to nothing. The Wedding. For anyone who is avoiding spoilers, I'll tell you this much on the wedding, it had one of my favourite scenes Liza Minnelli singing and dancing to the song "Single Ladies". (Which by the way at her age she still made Beyonce's little video look like kindergarden paste) I was not a fan of this song, but her performance is wicked.
The plot in this one was thin at best. It just seemed to lack something.

I walked out of the cinema just disappointed. The jokes didn't get any response from the rest of the audience around me (yes I was laughing alone out loud) the subplot was lost somewhere in translation, and it just felt unfinished. I think the underlining tone was "when you choose one life, are you sure?" but to be honest, I can't tell you if that was it or not. The film flashed past me in a blur.

Will I buy the dvd? Of course I will because have the whole series and the last movie and the books.

Here's hoping #3 is better planned out and does something to give us the feel that we're watching SATC.

Who's line is it anyway?

A year ago I posted something on my old blog about my lack of life. Within days of me writing it, Mr. S. cut a promo on the show that referenced the very topics I had ranted about.

Two days ago, I revisited the topic on my new blog with links to the old post on the old blog. Yesterday evening, Mr. S. blogged and revisited the same material from that promo he'd done last year.

Yes, I'm believing I'm back in his good graces. Or at lest, he's reading me again.

This was the first time in the last year that I have brought up those topics again. It is also the first time in the last year that Mr. S. has brought up those topics again.

Mel tonight in a chat asked me how much more proof do I need?

Mr. S. has me dumbfounded. He really does.

Sold Out

"What do you mean it's sold out?  It can't be sold out? "

That's what I was saying this morning to my mom when I was chatting on the phone with her.   The Goddess my sister, as I mentioned the other week on here,  is going to the movie with friends of hers.  They were going tomorrow night, opening night, but when they went to order their tickets online, it's sold out.  
In fact, both opening night here and Friday are both sold out.   Here I was thinking I would go Friday night, but I guess I'm not getting there till the weekend after all.

I think my cup is empty again

Photo by Me

I can't get back into the heads of my characters.  Been stuck with my novel for the last few days.
Ever since changing the ending, the story has shifted and the focus is now on one of the smaller characters. 
I need to bring it back to my hero, and I can't seem to. 
It's like I spent way too much time away from him and lost his voice.  I don't feel that I should be ripping him out and starting him over, but at the moment, I don't what to do.

What is he doing?

I posted stuff on my Facebook. My profile, my stuff. I got a notice from there in my emails last night saying that Darius had tagged people in my photos.

What? He could do that?

When I went in and looked at the photo and the tag in question. When I hit the tag it took me to someone else's photo album. He took a copy of my photo used it on his own profile and gave a copy to his buddy.

I got mad and deleted the tag. Then sent an email to him asking what was up? I don't know the guy he tagged.

I had been chatting with Mel and Joshua last night when this all went down. Both feel that Darius is getting creepy.
Joshua's reaction was "That's something a boyfriend does."
Joshua did not know about the wrestling text messages so I filled him in on it. Joshua was not happy. (for those who haven't been filled in on me and Joshua, we have an on again off again internet thing)

And why is it just when things sort out with one of my male friends, crap starts up with another?

Interview with Kathleen Grissom

The interview I did with author Kathleen Grissom is up on my book blog

What are you Wearing to the show

No I have not abandoned this blog.  Just been busy building up Domestic and Damned  and believe it or not, hanging out on Facebook.

Yeah, I know I know.  And one of the big questions posed by the SATC2 fan "group is what are you wearing to the movie?"

I had an outfit picked out.  But, the weather has been a roller coaster. Freezing, then +29 c, then rain and cold then + 25c like it can't make up it's mind.
I'm not able to go opening night, so  dressing up for it is pointless.
Last time around, I did dress up, and wouldn't you know it, freezing here that day.  Not too mention I had water marks on my shirt from crying.   
Since I just got myself a fabulous tee shirt with the logo for my Mr. S. , I'm thinking jeans and tee.  That way, if I have tear stains no big deal.

If I even make it opening weekend.   I have been getting a sore throat and today sound like I'm garbbling gravel.  This week is not just SATC week it's also first official book club so I can not afford to get full on sick. 

But, hey, for those of you who are going to the movie, are you dressing up for it?  Are you making it girls' night?

Shutting the door on your EXfiles

I was sitting here just now, having a coffee and watching an old episode of Sex and the City.
It was the one where Carrie has to deal with Berger's reaction to his ex calling.
It got me thinking. I started what was my main blog right after my last break up that was three years ago. 90% of that blog was about my two biggest relationships, and every one night stand.

I have done maybe 2 posts on my new blog since about that time in my life. I think moving from my old blog to the new one was really really needed.

Anyone who's been reading this blog for the last few months, know that I was in a panic about what was happening with being cyber stalked by a former friend. I felt sick from the idea of them spending more time on that blog then I was.
Now, maybe it was a good thing. As I would never have moved on from that blog, and I would have kept going on and on and on about those relationships.

So this is me, shutting the door on my EXfiles. Here's to a clean start.

The Invitation I did not want

Two things.

1) I got an internet invite to link up anything I had done in regards to the wrestling the other night. The invite was a group one from the guy who was promoting the show. So I did. Hey, I'm trying to network my wrestling blog so what better way right? Right. Now, I'm getting a lot of hits locally from that group to my main blog and not the wrestling one. Why? Because I did a review of the show on my new wrestling blog and I did a personal post on my Domestic and Damned blog that was more my buddies and I goofing around, but I linked them both. What I didn't know is that the link to the personal blog was put higher in the ranks because there is more posts on it. So everyone is bypassing the wrestling blog and missing the reviews.
That sucks.

2) I had gotten a text the night of the event from my buddy Darius. He was acting odd. This was near the end of the night, so far to that point he'd been... not his self. But then again, he was hanging around with a group of his bar buddies so you know men when they are in a pack.
The text I got from him went like this

"All this wrestling making me horny. Let's f**k in the bathroom"

WHAT? Um WHAT?
I texted back that he was a goof. I didn't take him serious, why would I? Few minutes later, he texted me again asking for a Blow job. You have got to be kidding me!
I texted back saying "You're Not Mr. S.!"
That seemed to shut him up for the moment.

The end of the event and the lights came up and I got a chance to get a photo of one of the wrestlers. When I caught up with Darius few minutes later, I was still swooning from the small chat/photo opt of the wrestler, and having been flirting with my hair stylist who had been sitting beside me all night.
Darius leaned over and said "You look happy what's up?" when I showed him the photo I'd just taken his attitude changed and his voice got loud. "Well, maybe HE'LL have some bathroom time with you"

I hit Darius. Hit him hard too. One of his boys turned and invited me to go for drinks with them which I turned down the offer. Sadly, they ended up bumping into the wrestlers at that pub and all got to hang with them. But, that pub was clear cross the other end of town from my place. Had I gone with them I would have missed the last bus to my end of town and I did not have any cab fare.

I had no idea Darius was even slightly interested in me. We've been friends for a year, but after that exchange, I'm not so sure anymore.

The fan

T. is a guy I went to grade school and high school with. 
I always see him at the wrestling events. Usually with a bunch of guys.  I always thought T. was gay.
This is what happens when you hang with gay and bi-sexual men all the time, it tosses your gay-dar out the window with straight men. 

Last night I spotted him at the event with who I found out is his wife.  T. always makes it a point to cross my path at events, literally.  Everytime I go to a live wrestling here in town, T. makes it a point to walk in front of me even when he doesn't need to, to stand around talking with his buddies a few feet from me (always just out of ear shot) when the sports center is massive and he could stand anywhere, and hold up the shinny collector's belts he buys every single time that he gets autographed as if it's the real thing.

Last night, I caught him looking in my direction then proceeded to promptly grab his wife for a make out session.  You could tell by the look on his wife's face she was wondering what got into him.
I was wondering that too.   Who was he doing that for? What was he trying to prove? 

Author Catherine McKenzie Would Like

Ladies of SITS, of BlogFrog, and whom ever googles this.
Catherine McKenzie author of Spin, is in the process of doing an experiment. She is trying to see if we the general reading public can in fact make a book a bestseller just by blogging about it.
I love this idea! here is the link to the Goodreads group. I hope the link works as it is a group.
If you are on Goodreads I encourage you to join, if not, it's a great place for bookworms.

I had the chance to do an interview with her few months back and she's a lovely lady, just a sweetheart. Which you can read here on my book blog

So who is your target?

Was watching Sex and the City, the episode where Carrie is picking the columns and book cover for her first book, and has to figure out who her target audience is. 
I have seen on blog discussions this question.  And up until a hour ago, I always thought I knew mine.

Figured my target audience were Sex and the City fans, gay men and wrestling fans/wrestlers.  Ends up that might not be the whole story.

I asked Mel what he thought (yeah I know, I'm an emotional cutter) and his answer  " 18-30"
Um yeah, that doesn't help me bud.  

Makes me wonder though if that is a good thing or a bad thing, not really having a solid readership.
Am I accessible to a wide range of readers (good thing)   or am I just not what people need, like the self help section of the local book store (bad thing)

Mel believes and this is a direct quote.  "Good thing. That way it never gets stale and you reach a broader range of people and age groups"


How do you know you've reached who you thought you were reaching with your writing?

I tell you I bumped into Brenda

Brenda used to be the supervisor for the building. She moved out when the new landlord took over and raised the rent.
I bumped into her at the grocery the other day. Right off she asked me the same set of questions she always does "you still living there? And do they still own it?" I get the feeling that if my answers were ever any different she might move back. But my answers are always the same.
"For now, and yes they do."

Brenda : " I was talking to the neighbour the other day, and he tells me that Landlord lives in one part and the wife lives in the other. You living in a building of crazies"

Me : " Landlord lives downstairs, his daughter lives in your old apartment."

Brenda: "Wasn't the wife living there too? Aren't they divorced?"

Me: "They are always filing for divorce but not going through with it. Daughter and her kid moved in, the Landlord's wife moved out, Landlord moved in. Wife and Daughter do not get along."

Brenda: "The place is a dump. How do you live there still?"

Me : " Painfully. I have been on a wait list for over a year with city housing to move."

Brenda: "Well, let's hope they move you soon, cause from what the neighbour told me, that building has been called about."

The Sex and the City Countdown

I've started doing a few posts on the Domestic and Damned blog that are SATC themed.

I'm going to try to get at lest one done a day leading up to the release of SATC2.

The poached egg scene

You know in the film when Julie says she's never eaten an egg and then the next few minutes of the film is about the poached eggs.

It's the dinner table chat in the next scene that I'm on today. 
Where she asks "What does it mean if you don't like your friends?"   and the other girl says it's normal.

That's how I am feeling.
As I posted few days ago, I've decided to re-issue my vampire themed review blog.  All vampire movies/books, and stupidly asked the opinion of my buddy Mel.  It might seem like a silly thing to anyone reading but the whole thing got me thinking.

In a real "time to evaluate my life"   thinking.
I had to ask myself, what am I getting from my current friendships other then headaches?  I came up with zero, nothing, zip-a-dee-doo-da. 

When do you know it's time to move on? 

This past Sunday was mother's day, and I ended up having to go to my sister's for a bit because they were doing lunch for mom there.   If you've been reading this blog at all, you know my Sister the Goddess has moved in with her boyfriend the Married Man (yes he's FINALLY after 2 years asked his wife for a divorce) so this was more to show off the new digs then anything else.   Great coffee though, I have to hand that to them. He has it imported from Vancouver and grinds it himself. Fancy.  Oh yeah, he's loaded.  I see why my sister is with him. Yeah that visit was painful for a few reasons, one being the "and then we got this it's $700 and this painting was $200"  the other reason I messed up my back last week and can barely stand up right.  Fun times.

Her and I started to talk about books which is the one thing no matter what we're both passionate about.  This little light hearted giggle fest lead me to ask what night we were going to Sex and the City 2.   At that point my sister the Goddess, diverted her eyes and said she was going opening night with a friend from work.

Why the hell didn't she tell me this before?  She could have texted me and said that her friends wanted her to go, but she let me think for the last month we were going together . 

Well, I am thinking this might be a good day to try to make poached eggs.  I've never tried yet.

You're such a mark

"You're wearing Mr. S's logo shirt on Saturday aren't you?"  Darius asked, laughing. 

"That was always the plan.  I'm like the only one in town who has it... I think"

"No doubt." he was still laughing at me.  "So let me get this straight. You have front row and you are going to be wearing the logo for Mr. S."

"Yeah. Why?" 

Darius was still laughing hard. "You are going to be total fodder. Total fodder. Nash just started a feud with Mr. S. this week. If he shows on the card like he's suppose to, you know he'll single you out in that shirt and use you as promo material. " 

"That was the whole point of the shirt.  To get noticed at the show."  I replied litter more giddy then I should of.  

So we shall see what happens this coming weekend.  I know a bunch of the wrestlers are already in town for radio and news stuff, my mom happily reports these advents AFTER they happen and happily adds that they were open to the public. {oh by the way I heard yesterday that Vampiro was scheduled for a meet and greet. You missed it. I forgot to tell you} 

This is why he has no friends

I decided to work on a new version of an old blog.   I have been for the last few years, doing a vampire themed blog where I post movie and book reviews. 
All vampires.    I want to branch out and start fresh with a new blog for the theme.  

I made the mistake of asking Mel what he thought on it. Why did I ask his opinion ?   Well, I'm stupid it would seem.   I have this distaste for the overly processed goth scene that's sprung up in the last few years. 
It makes me cringe, it really does.   Don't even get me started on why I dislike Twilight, that's a day's worth of ranting right there.   

Anyway, Mel suggested I add some well, ads for goth clothing stores and clubs and gothic themed online dating etc.   I simply said No.   He got snotty and told me not to ask him anything.  Okay, fine I won't.
This whole conversation had started with me asking him how he was feeling as he'd been sick the last week.  He said he wanted to die.  There's that goth-kid attitude again.  He bitches about how he can't keep friends, well not with an attitude like that. 

I'm the first to admit I'm not the rainbows and kittens type, but I don't sit there and declare to people that I want to cut myself either. 
Seriously, if he keeps this up much longer; I just won't be able to stay friends with him.  It's too exhausting.

Okay, and that was my rant on the topic

Just a note

http://theyearilivedoffoframennoodles.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-twisted-my-knee.html

This is very cool. I mentioned a movie in that post about an actress who has O.I.
The director/writer/producer stumbled on the blog and left links and information in the comments. I hope everyone checks out the links he left.

Eat Pray Love -Book

I just finished reading this. Took me about a week.
I should have started this post few days ago as things and thoughts were coming to me while reading, but I wasn't that smart.

This was part emotional roller coaster, part spiritual guide book for me.
Everyone I've talked to have been split right down the middle on this book, either loving it or hating it.
I loved it.

I found the first section, the EAT, section heavy. No pun intended.  I realize that it happened at a dark time in her life, and therefore was heavy.  It was her coming out of her depression. Yes, I did identify with it.  It had me asking myself some of the same questions and nodding my head saying "you're totally right babe"

I zipped through the second section, the PRAY, section in under two days.  I connected with it the most.  There was one spot where I wanted to start a blog post (really wish I had now) about the truth of FAITH. But I chickened out. 

The last section, the LOVE, section that had me staggering.  It took the longest for me to read.  Pure and simple, I'm not anywhere near that part of my own life. I'm still back in the border of the EAT and the PRAY parts. 

This is one of those books that has you in awe that it's a true story. Elizabeth Gilbert is a very brave and inspiring woman. To look Faith in the eye and basically say "come to me I believe in you" without flinching, to except that divinity is an all consuming idea. 
I could go on for a very long ramble on my views of Faith (which I encompass as ALL religions/spiritual paths) but I don't feel the need right now.  Maybe later. 

I will say this,  EAT PRAY LOVE is a book that you do not go looking for, it comes looking for you. 

From the bottom of my coffee cup

Photo by ME copyright hcvp'09

Scuff scuff scuff that's the sound of me going to the kitchen to make coffee.

I have new downstairs neighbours. Or neighbour. Not too sure if it's one guy or not. He's/They are quiet so that's good.
The last ones to live below me was a teenaged couple. I feel sorry for that guy. So noisy with the music and the video games and the animalistic sex. I was blaming the guy for all the music and video games at 3 in the morning. Ends up it was the girlfriend. I was complaining about the noise the other week to Mel, and when I got up to make a coffee, I saw the guy's car was gone. Remembered he was out of town. Stopped, still leaning on the counter waiting for my coffee to finish and saw the door open to the building. The girl came out with some other guy who was not her boyfriend and was making out with him in the parking lot till a taxi came for him. They broke up and moved out last week. I feel sorry for the guy, I really do.

Mom has an appointment this morning for x-rays. If we can figure out what bus to take we might make it on time.

And the Starbucks instant coffee... I had this sample and well, it just did not stack up to even the grocery store brand.

I twisted my knee

I don't know how, got out of bed this morning and my left knee just doesn't seem to be in the best condition.   This unfortunately is something that happens when you have O.I.
You go to bed fine and wake up with bruises or something off kilter.  These things happen. Thank god I only have Type 1.  I've had conversations with people who have Type 3 who can't even lift a teacup because it will shatter their arm. 

There was a movie released the other week called  Broken Dreams (I think that was the title)  that has an actress who has O.I.  Now, I have no idea if she is playing a person with it or if her character has something else in the movie.  I am just kind of interested in hearing that there is an actress out there who has it.  A book was just released too in Canada by a woman who has O.I. Type 4.  As soon as I get a copy, I'll post more on it.  From what I am told, the book is a biography of her life dealing with the disease.

For those who have been following my rants about the wrestling blog and the Blog Partner,  I have gone ahead a created a new wrestling blog.  Just left the old one as is.  Which is a shame given it's got a nice chunk of followers and it was my blog.  It's still under my old account, but the drama with the BP and her boyfriend/husband (I don't even know what to call him)  was twisting my guts and giving me a headache.  Either they will take over the blog completely (which I am still the only one with admin rights and the comments have to be approved by me)  or they will leave it when they see I'm no longer putting the 17 hours a week into it.  Which in time,  I'll post a link on it to the new one here

Oh and over here  I posted a silly video of myself yesterday.

Lynn Redgrave -RIP

One of my all time favourite films is the horror comedy Midnight where Lynn Redgrave played a late night horror hostess.  One of the many reasons I tried my hand at being a horror hostess back in college.  Her portrayal of the hippy mom in the movie version of Jane Austen Book Club was a show stealer.    I'm sad by the news that she died at age 67.

Sofa Logic/Kitchen Logic

I always have a stack of books on the go.

At the moment, reading Jane Slayre for book club,
trying to finish off Cleaving Meat Marriage Obsession, and have started Eat Pray Love.
Three very different books, for three very different reasons.
I've been reading Cleaving off and on for over a month, and since it's a hardcover book, been keeping it in the kitchen where I can sit at the table and read it open faced. You can tell it's been living in the kitchen as it's sleeve is covered in splatters of tea, coffee, hot chocolate and I think even the broth from the ramen noodles.
The other two, being softcover, I have been able to keep in the living room so that I can curl up on the sofa with them.  Not that the Jane Slayre is light.  If you have seen the original classic this monster-lit is based on, you know it's a large volume.
Eat Pray Love,  has me wanting to curl up on my Yoga mat with.  Must be subliminal.

Homemade Ramen #7

2 cups water
1 vegetable bouillon cube
1 cup frozen vegetables (broccoli, onion, green beans, red peppers, mushroom)
1 serving of noodles
1 teaspoon of minced garlic
parsley
a half can of baby corn

Boil water, add frozen vegetables, add noodles, stir.  
Add garlic, parsley and bouillon cube.  Stir. 
Drain baby corn then add just as you are turning off the heat.  Stir and let sit for about 5 minutes.  Should serve 3.

I got the noodles in bulk at the Dollar Store.  What at first looked like two servings of noodles, turned out to actually be 8.  Which made it even better for the money.  One package was only $1,  and because it looked to be only two servings per package, I picked up three packages. So for $3 I got my money's worth.

I did good!

You might have heard me say that I was reading this book this week for review.
I posted the review on my book blog here (under my other account/real name)
I really really liked this book. I've done reviews before and suffered with the whole thing. In case you haven't picked up on things, if I don't like something I'm not afraid to say so. Yes, I've given a bad review before.

But the Kitchen House was a brilliant read.
The author Kathleen Grissom is a wonderful writer, and given the topic of her novel, a very brave woman.

I woke this morning to find a personal thank you message in my email from her.
In the past, I've only heard back from press agents and publishers. So, to hear from the author herself, that totally made my week.

Why do I bother making plans?

So much for my day of getting to blog.   My sister the Goddess, is moving this weekend.  Her and her boyfriend, which I mentioned few weeks ago.
Anyway, she called me asking me to come over as she had a few boxes of stuff for me to go through.
Ended up not being able to carry any of it home anyway, so at some point she's suppose to get her boyfriend (the Married Man) to drop it off. 
And her last sentence as I was going out her door to come home "you have to get used to him; he's here to stay"
I don't want to get used to him, I don't trust him.

While I was there, she was trying to help me figure out the caller id on my new phone. When she picked up my phone she asked me who the guy was.  "This your new boyfriend?"  sister asked.

"Not seeing anyone. Who you mean?"

"The guy on your phone?" she replied.  I had no idea at first who she was meaning.

"What guy? Someone call and I miss it?" 

She held up my cell phone towards me. "The photo of the guy, stupid.  Is this your new boyfriend?"

"No why?" it was a wallpaper of Mr. S.

Sister raised an eyebrow at me and made a hmm sound. Again I asked her why she asked.  She handed me back my phone and simply asked me was I sure.

Let me explain something.  My sister has this uncanny way of knowing certain things before they come to pass.  Is she psychic?  She says she's not, but I've seen her predict stuff months before it happens.  She's pointed out my boyfriends like this before in the past, weeks before I ended up involved with them.  Not just me, friends and co-workers of hers too. 

April 29th 2010

This will be my bloggy day of rest.

No that does not mean I will not be blogging today.  Total opposite, I plan on filling out a few posts today and possibly even setting them on timer to pop up over the next few days. 
I haven't done anything in over a week on the fictional blog that I started earlier in the month, nor have I done anything on the cooking blog in about two weeks either. 

I did however blog yesterday on my book blog I finally finished reading the Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom. Took me over a week to read the 400 pages - well little under 400 pages, more like 367 pages- which was longer then I had hoped, and the review was a day late.  But it was just one of those weeks where things kept getting in the way of reading.

I picked up a recipe journal when I was out at the book store last Saturday, and still have not had a chance to sit down with it and look it over.  I've been wanting one for awhile now, and when I saw it was on sale for $9.99 Canadian, (normal price $17.99) I had to scoop it up. The little blank paged diary I have been using for the last decade to write down all my recipes had fallen apart, the spine broken and was being held together by elastics.  So that will be maybe this weekends project, recopying my recipes into the new recipe journal.

Don't crowd the Mushrooms

Whoo!  This makes post 101! Nice.

No this is not a cooking post.  I was having a chat with my mom about religion... yeah I know stupid of me.  Not even too sure how we got on the topic but we did.  Anyway, I walked away from the chat having learned that trying to have a serious conversation with my mother is just not a possibility. 
And for some crazed reason, I got the line stuck in my head from the movie Julie/Julia from when she's telling her blog readers not to crowd the mushrooms or they won't brown, and says "are you listening to me. Whoever you are?" 

That's how I felt.  Like the mushrooms were crowded and they just were not browning and I needed to tell ... someone. 

I'm getting scared

BP and her boyfriend/husband are hitting my blog every half hour. This is insane! There is no one else listed on my hits tracker other then them.
What the hell are they wanting? I'm actually starting to get frightened.

My mom keeps saying they will get bored and stop. Mel doesn't think so, he thinks they'll keep at it till the drive me off the internet.

Honestly, If it wasn't for the fact I've put 3 years into the blog in question, I would close it down. But, I have steady readers on that blog, and I have worked so hard on it over the last 3 years. I'm ready to cry.

Move the blog

"You own the url domain right?"  My buddy GT asked me.
"Um yeah Mom does actually. It was my christmas gift."
"Then re-set up the blog on another account and just don't ask her to post. Simple."   

Why didn't I think of that before? Instead of all this freaking out and getting mad?  So it would mean loosing all the work she's done since October, which is half the WWE posts. But, it might be worth it for the piece of mind. 

Family fun time?

Text message read like this  "We're having mother's day brunch at our new place next sunday. You're invited."

My sister the Goddess.  I called my mom to ask her if it was her idea.  She swears it's not. I said more then once that my sister and I don't really talk.  I honestly don' t know if I can sit through an hour with her and her boyfriend the Married Man and his kids.

Crap is being stirred

"If you want to be taken seriously don't do A, B and C.  And your spelling is terrible"

This was the main message I just received from Blog Partner's husband. 
Um, excuse me, I didn't ask for your thoughts on the matter.  What does it matter to you if my blogging is less then perfect? I don't even know you.  Not too mention the fact that BP hasn't done anything in months. I keep asking her if she wants to leave the blog because of either not having the time or interest anymore and she keeps saying she will be back soon as her legal issues are over and they move.  They've moved and the legal issues are over a month ago.  Only I can't delete her from the wrestling blog.

I have a really bad feeling about this.  They have been hitting my blogs like crazy in the last few days. My hits tracker is lit up with their ip address.  And every time I would ask what was up, BP would say "it wasn't us. There are other people on the planet who live in our area."
I never got hits from that area till they moved there last month.  Something is not right and I'm not sure what I can do about it. 

You are who you hang with

They say you can judge a lot about a person by the people they call friends.   I know I have judged people that way in the past, so I know I've been judged that way.

I wonder what my current friendships have to say about me?
Hmm... Well, first let's break them down into two main categories shall we.  

1. Offline or the physical world
2. Online friends

Okay, so my physical world friends include my friend the Nurse, my friend in Edmonton, Darius, my buddy GT  and the Wiccan. 
My buddy GT lives in Toronto as does the Wiccan, and well my friend in Edmonton lives in Edmonton.  That is a 27 hour Greyhound bus ride if I ever want to see them, so that just doesn't happen. It's been 3 years since I got to see any of them.
My friend the Nurse lives in town, but she works shift work and we only get to see each other twice a year once in the summer and once at the holidays. 
Darius spends all this time with his band and whomever his latest girlfriend is so I rarely see him. 
Not much friend time.  

Now, both the Nurse and my friend in Edmonton (I am not even sure if I've mentioned her on here before or not, and I'm just too lazy to look through the blog)  they are my oldest friends.  Known them for 30 years (Nurse) and 25 years (Edmonton) both have been married for over a decade. The Nurse = 16 years married.    Edmonton = 12 years married.    Both have 3 kids, ironically both had 2 girls and 1 boy.  Ironically both had twins.  

And my online friends  are Mel, Social Disorder Girl, Blog Partner, Joshua.
SDG is married with 4 kids, Mel is single but crazy about this one chick who he does not have the guts to tell, BP is married and Joshua is single.
SDG, BP and Joshua are very skeptical with everything and very negative.  Lately, I just don't want anything to do with them. They are people I have only ever known on the internet.

So what has brought this up today ?    Couple of things.  One, was an article I read on Yahoo.ca that talked about how men react to your friends, and today's Book Club meeting.  I blogged about that over on the new blog here 
I got more then excited about the idea of maybe meeting a new friend.
She seems very professional in everything she does, and the fact she has a masters degree in English Lit, as well as working on her Law degree made me feel, well like a slug. But, the more we talked, the more we found we have in common. 

Photo by Me copyright hcvp'07

It's been a 3 Ramen day

Photo by ME copyright hcvp 2009

1 package of ramen at lunch and 2 packages for supper. Why? Because I was too lazy to cook anything else.

That and I spent the last few hours doing my main wrestling column. Only, the show was so bad this week. All it was was skits and talk. They had almost no matches. I have to say this was the worst of my columns too. I was so bored that I didn't even pretend to be professional, just said that I wasn't going to talk about them this week.

In between, I reposted some of my old blog stuff on the new blog, and was chatting with Mel because of one of the posts. I had pointed out back few months ago that Mr. S. had this habit. Within a few days of my blogging about it, he stopped it.
I went on to make the comment in that post, that when you find too many faults in your heroes, they loose their glitter. They become just men.

Lately, Mr. S. has been almost trying to prove that, that's all he is. Just a man. He talked on his blog this week about how he spends his free time collecting comics and playing video games.

Um yeah exciting right?

What do you love?

The "I Love" post

I thought it would be a nice way to get things started over on the new blog. So, come over and let me know what's on our love list

Friends and Lovers

Okay, not too sure where to go with this one. I know what's sitting in the back of my mind, and I know what I kind of want to get across. Just so you know, it is 6 PM as I start this, let's see how long it takes me to sort out my head.

You know that old joke "Coffee Tea or Me" well, because of a conversation with my buddy Mel, I decided to post a poll on my other blog. Our conversation was about how more men are drinking tea then coffee.
He hit my blog for something else and decided to vote on the poll. Guess what he picked. Yeah, kinda shocked me that he voted for well, me. I let him know he isn't my type. Which I thought he had already known. He's been extremely quiet all day.

I have this rule of not mixing my male friendships with sexual ones. I keep them separate, very separate. I can't even tell you why I do.
No that's not completely true, I do things this way so that when I do find that guy who I am both sexually attracted to and respect beyond everything, I'll know I've finally found the right guy.

You're wondering if Mr. S. is that guy. I'm wondering it too.

I've never had a conversation with Mr. S. Unless of course you count my blog and the stuff he's done on the show/written in his blog lately. Never met him. But I respect him and think him to be the greatest thing since well, sliced bread.


Here's what I'm getting at after all this; everyone of my friends say that your mate should be your best friend. Only one of my friends actually says that her husband is. Everyone else says "they should be but they're not"

Am I on the right track? Am I loosing my mind?

Mel, my buddy Darius and even my mom all think that Mr. S. is trying to cryptically ... keep my attention.
SDG and Joshua do not.
In a really really weird way, I feel like I am friends with Mr. S.

Okay, it's 9PM and I still have no clue what I'm trying to say.

Let me point you

To the bottom of the right side of the blog.
I installed a Networks Follow button from Facebook. So, hey if you want...

And, I just got a new book in the mail from another publishing company. That's 3 companies in the last 4 months. Not too bad Eh? I guess I'm better at it then I thought.

It's one of those morning where the TO-DO List is just overwhelming. Not helping that my shoulder is killing me. My good shoulder too.
When I was out with mom yesterday, the bus driver took off before I had a chance to sit down, so there's me tumbling back hard into the seat. Not the actual seat part but the metal handle on the side. After a few minutes I figured I was fine, could move my arm no problems, my bra felt like it was digging into the back abit but otherwise, I was fine. With the O.I. every thing is a potential break when you get bumped. When I got home last night, got undressed and my shoulder seemed slightly swollen but I could still move it. Today, it's as tight as a doorknob and a bruise is forming. Hopefully a few muscle relaxers will be all that's needed.

Okay, I'm off to try and get some stuff done.

Bumped into the WannaBe Socialite

Was out with mom for a few hours, and when we went past Lush Cosmetics, we heard this "Hey"

Well, it was more like a "HHEAAEEYY!!!"

I was just waiting, dreading, counting the seconds until I heard her very fake "darling" after it.

Turn around and there was Sophia, the Wannabe socialite. I've talked about her before. Anyway, her sister used to work at Lush before she had the baby, and I guess she got her the job.

She looked worse then I felt and I have been feeling like a something a zombie has vomited lately.

She hugged my mom. Mom made a polite noise as she flinched. Mom does not hug. I do not hug (unless it's a very hot man whom I'm involved with) then gave us the "tour" of the 10 foot by 13 foot shop that has been there for the last 6 years that I have spent more time hanging out in then she has working. Cause, used to be friends with her sister.

She informed me she follows me on my twitter.

That would get her nowhere, as the twitter she has is my business one. The only thing I twitter on that account is wrestling updates. So, how boring for her.

Then she hugged me as we were leaving. Let me rephrase that, she grabbed me hitching my sweater as she clung on to me.

Very uncomfortable. Did I mention I don't hug.

April 19th 2010

My Grandmother died in 1999 on April 19th.   
I did really good for most the day not thinking about the date.  Then I read a blog post that had me doing nothing but thinking about her. 
Thanks alot Mr. S.    (I'll get to it in a second)


I posted on my main blog  not too long ago about having to give up the silliness I was posting.  I had spent all of 2009 posting about Mr. S.   in a way that would have had anyone reading it thinking I was a 12 year old at a Backstreet Boy concert.  When I had my birthday last month, I said that was it.  I did one final blog post the night before my 36th saying it was the end of the crazed fan stuff. 
Today, Mr. S.'s blog was about his love for video games and comic books and how he never plans on growing up, that if you feel like being a kid and being goofy then do it no matter how old you actually are.  Then he made a comment about having lost a close friend in the last few days.
Boom. 
It's like he hit me with a chair shot to the skull.  You have heard me talk on here before about how most of the people in my social circle are thinking what I am thinking about Mr. S.   That he's using his blog to communicate with me, because of the restrictions the company has on the wrestlers talking direct to fans.  
This post today could be seen that way.  It could be that he actually does enjoy my wacked out dribble that I call a sense of humour.  Or you know, he might have just been feeling the weight of his friend. (to be fair Mr. S. did not say if the friend was just ill or if the friend had indeed died.  He just said stroke)
My buddy Mel keeps reminding me that if the company does go into ruin, which most wrestling fans and journalists are believing,  that Mr. S. will no longer have a gag order.   Darius says the same thing, don't give up hope.  Wait it out and just maybe.
All I can say is this,  right now I'm fresh out of believing.